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Monday thoughts – Why are women held to a different standard than men and why is our government allowing this?

It’s a beautiful Monday afternoon, mild in weather and close to one of my all-time favorite holidays. While I try my best to keep a positive state of mind with the season rapidly approaching, I find my mind wandering to darker subjects. In these trying times I think it’s hard for anyone to stay positive, especially with opposition coming in full force from all directions─ people angry with the state of things and looking for anything to blame on others.

This is a rant, and my own personal opinion.

I watched my aunt fume over Biden ‘ruining the country’ and real history being taught at schools. Not just the traditional founding fathers nonsense, but the truth on slavery and wrongdoings as well. Sorry, but that is history and your children need to be taught about why it should never happen again. If you have a problem with truth or get defensive over it, you might want to take a harder look at yourself. Don’t your children deserve the truth? It makes me increasing sad to realize that there is a real disturbing trend of people that are buying into a zealot-level conservativism. They bring it into our business, playgrounds with children soaking all of this up like sponges, in the store, on the t.v., on the internet, brainwashing the elder generation that buys into old conservative ideals. The old conservatives were something else, really trying their best to fight for what was right. Teddy Roosevelt was a prime example of leadership. He got it done. These modern day jokes are nothing more than bullies, corruption galore, heartless business men that are taking advantage of the poor and under-educated. Do I side with any one party? No, I do not. Corruption is absolutely nothing new and all parties have it. Even independents, and green parties─ those claiming to be for the people. While I don’t buy into the Kool-Aid of conspiracy theorists (whom are also usually zealots in their own way, just like far-leftists) there is some merit in mudslinging to distract the public. You keep people fired up, they focus on blaming a mass following of a certain party that fosters hate between the people.

Divide the people, gerrymander, take bribes, treat others like garbage, commit the most heinous sexual acts without repercussions, get out of millions of dollars in taxes, rob people of their rights (especially women and minorities) and have the audacity to try and represent the people and somehow succeed in elections?

Just in the state of Texas alone, there are more regulations on my body and reproduction organs than guns. You can walk into any gun-show and have a wide selection of anything your heart might desire. The background check is a joke and any and all guns don’t have to be registered on your driver’s license. But god forbid a woman have the audacity to make an important life choice for her and an unborn entity. What kind of shit life awaits a child whose parent(s) want nothing to do with it? My mother was a shining example of this and I was reminded of it every. single. day. It made her bitter, spiteful, and apathetic to anything going on in my life. If you think this doesn’t happen all the time, you are terribly wrong.

How quickly would the state change it’s tone if we had massive regulations on the state being responsible for abandoned children and paying for natal care? How about having to assist single parents with schooling, feeding, and clothing that child? While it’s a tired argument, it’s a correct one─ no one wants to pay for a child to be taken care of, they want women to deal with it themselves (aka conservatives little fuck you to women for having sex outside of marriage without a husband and therefore should be punished for it.). No one that is pro-life gives two shits about that child’s life, they are pro-birth. That is backwards to even their core beliefs, you know why? You say that someone should take responsibility for a child─ neat, what if they they can’t afford that or have zero support systems? What argument are you going to come back with? That the woman is responsible for her own problems and should suck it up? Sure, ok. So, she busts her butt and it still isn’t enough for two to survive so she has to apply for aid. But, you say that people that live off of financial aid are lazy and shouldn’t be allowed to take all of your hard earned tax dollars. (which by-the-way, have you ever actually looked into where your tax dollars go? It isn’t to the people. Dallas has had millions of peoples tax dollars mysteriously disappear, or turned into a non-functioning bridge. Go on, look into your own city. It’s pretty depressing.)

So, back to the real issue at hand─ this is all an underhanded bullshit way to corner women into needing men to survive. Let’s just call it what it is, absolute control over women’s bodies and their lives. You know what the solution is? You don’t like your tax dollars used for people to just survive because they chose to keep a child they can’t afford, therefore costing you way more than forcing un-wanted pregnancies─

pay for birth control instead.

But guess what, you won’t and I think you know why you won’t.

It isn’t about helping ‘protect women’ and ‘thinking about women’s lives’ or about ‘having proper support before getting pregnant’, or ‘protecting the child before it’s born’ absolutely not. Many people buy into this, not because they have nefarious intentions but because it is what they were taught. And they honestly believe that it is the right way to be and they are helping others. That is not what any of this is about and you can’t expect someone that was raised on these ideals to know any better. What history has shown is no different thousands of years ago versus today─ no matter the amount of reason you present to someone else, they will dig their heels into the ground and back up their viewpoint. No one wants to seem like a fool or believe that they have bought into some sort of sham or way of life their entire life. It took me years to have an open mind towards other’s thoughts and opinions. It isn’t as though I don’t understand where their heart is, or why they believe that way because I did too once upon a time.

Ladies, men in charge do not have your interests in mind. Because heaps of them are in the stone age and taught based off of a bible that was written by men, for men and altered from original text to fit the European way of life and culture and then adapted to the new Americas and its culture, and then modern white, American men and its culture. White American culture─ based off of a non-white, presumably middle-eastern man, in a completely different culture from our own. What.

Have any of you been to a southern Baptist, or Pentecostal church? Ridiculous. Women have to wear skirts, they can’t cut their hair, they can’t wear makeup, many believe they have to give birth until they physically and mentally can’t give birth anymore. No low neckline shirts, no tight clothing, no shirt sleeves above the elbow, no gender-neutral clothing including pants, must remain ‘pure’ for their husbands.

Men’s rules: no hair below their ears, or touching their collars. Hmm.

While all religion in many cultures harp on abstinence on both sides, it is more loosely enforced on men and extremely strict on women.

The biggest insult is how women are viewed. It’s about men making sure that women ‘stay pure’ for men. It is about massive amounts of misunderstanding on how the female body works. This horrible incorrect nonsense is taught to our children, shaming their natural instincts instead of building them up and preparing them for the real world. Sexual education is a joke here. The only education is to not have sex, the end. But, it goes deeper than that. Women are even taught in front of boys that if they have sex before marriage your husband gets the raw end of the deal with a busted vagina. Nothing there about protection, or safety, or taking care of your body, or birth control─ Ladies, your hoo-ha is men’s property and you’re ruining it.

So instead it’s about letting the ‘boys be boys’ and sleep around but women are to stay virtuous. You little shits in no way shape or form care about women, you care about us not being spoiled goods like some sort of human garbage you can pile your shit on until we sit quietly at the bottom of it, losing our voice and only obeying you.

With all my heart and without remorse, screw you.

Control is all you are after disguised as care. The worst part? You know others truly believe in something you don’t and are manipulating them and using them for political advantage and power to the fullest extent. And we support them.

Just my rant on a Monday afternoon.

xoxoxo-Grey

The Joys of Being a Female Business Owner in a Blue Collar Industry

We all have them, right?

Tales of hardships at the work place as old as humans have flipping existed. Then there are the obvious challenges that most of us know we are working on as a society. Well, at least some of us are.

Some of us are self-absorbed or worse─ oblivious shits.

Fast forward to the industry that I work in. Think of it like an auto parts store combined with diagnostics (tech support), and a tire replacement/oil change all in one except we handle HVAC units. (heating, ventilation, and air conditioning) We mostly handle residential customers and some contractors. (handy-men, remodelers, installers, etc.) The most common question I get in-store is how I got into the industry. I have worked in the tech industry for years, how things work have fascinated me forever! I once took apart a gaming console and controllers to see how it worked.

I was…in a lot of trouble for that one.

Mom be like

While I loved my job and what I did, the industry changed a lot. Contracted help was commonplace and then suddenly if you weren’t certified, if you didn’t take expensive courses and get more certifications, then you were replaced. As soon as I was made aware that after a certain date we weren’t able to move up in the industry unless we did all of these things─ you better believe my ass dove in and took every training course, learned about cloud based systems, DNS, Azure, anything I could to ensure my future there.

Then, six weeks later I’m in the running to move over to the other side, the one our team dreamed of. I was running a small team of my own at this point, doing weekly presentations, and trying my hardest to make an example of my performance so they could see that I practiced what I preached. I surprised myself with how into it I really was. I got my certs, and my in-house certs I needed to move over and work on the path to being a network engineer.

Less than a month later (by the way, several others were in the same position as me) they announced that contract workers cannot move over to become network engineers. I spoke with the department head and asked how we could become one. Well, guess what─ I would have to quit my job and apply again in six months. I get the security thing in the tech field, but couldn’t it have all been avoided by me keeping the position that I earned? But that’s just it, it’s how that industry is run.

Let’s also not forget that just in the campus I worked in, female to male ratio was extremely low. Unless you worked on the social media team or tier one tech support. The social media side was flooded with ladies. I didn’t want to do that, I wanted to challenge myself and learn everything. After some thought, I decided to quit and pursue other things.

(I’m glossing over a few jobs here and there for the sake of the reader)

My boyfriend has worked in HVAC since he was in diapers. He had recently fired an employee and was running the business by himself. I’d be making even a little less a year, and knew nothing about the industry but it was something new and interesting to learn. I studied, listened and learned the inner workings of HVAC systems for the next two years (still on-going). It is a blast getting to problem solve and help people install parts on their units. Managing and running the front end can present challenges but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

The best part? Getting to put motors together in the store and watching people’s faces as we set them up to just plug back in to their unit. It is so satisfying on many levels to help people that just can’t afford to hire a technician or enjoy learning like myself. I get to troubleshoot over the phone and walk people through isolating the problem.

For the most part, many of the guys that walk in the store are grateful and courteous. Some are curious, not meaning to sound like an ass at my choice of work but say funny and sometimes awkward things. Those guys are awesome and make my day when I get to help them do it themselves.

Then there’s the type that just drive me up the wall. I get at least two to three phone calls a day that ask for a technician or to speak to a guy that can help them. I’m usually polite and explain that I can help them and to go ahead and tell me their issue. Some sound surprised but explain, others get quiet and slightly gruff, and then my absolute favorite─ the one’s that try to explain what they are talking about to me. I’m not talking about their issue alone. I’m talking about them stopping and asking, “you know, the condensing unit outside for an AC unit. It’s part of the air conditioning. Do you know what I’m talking about?”

Stress Beware GIF - Stress Beware Snap GIFs

My inner smart ass wants to say, “An AC unit? What is that?”

But I take a breath and start asking diagnostic questions. There’s a reason why I ask them. They get irritated when I ask if both of their units are coming on, indoor and outdoor. I usually get, “no, no, it’s my outdoor that I’m talking about, you know─ the one outside the house.”

I explain that I need to know if both are on so that I can see if you have a busted transformer, which controls both units. I need to know if the flipping thermostat is working. It’s an entire system working together, it doesn’t just magically send ac into your house and blow directly from outside…that is why it is called a condensing unit. It condenses, goes through a high pressure line to go from a liquid to a gas, blows over your evaporator coils and blown into your home from your indoor unit blower.

While I could bore you all to tears with the knowledge I know, the point is─ I have to explain myself constantly. Granted, no homeowner is going to know many things so I understand walking them through. I expect having to break it down in a way that someone could understand. But others become hostile and downright rude. There are two gentlemen that come in from time to time and refuse to talk to me. “I’d like to talk with the gentleman from last time,” to which I respond, “I’m afraid that he is busy right now, I can help you. What is the issue?” They both always respond, “I can wait until he is done.” While this is something I could understand if it were complicated issues or something only he knows about, but it often isn’t.

It is so frustrating having guys reach across the counter when I am testing motors, checking fan blades, and looking wires over. They grab lids and pull them as I am trying to gain leverage by pulling it toward myself and walk the fan blade off of the motor. Even worse, when I have 240 volts OF ELECTRICITY LIVE as I test the motor. If the motor shorts and they are holding it, that’s going to be a nasty jolt.

GIF held guide heroe - animated GIF on GIFER

Every couple of minutes I get asked, “do you need help?” No. No I don’t and if I did, I would ask my co-worker because you have no idea what it is I need help with. I get told to ‘put some oil on it and it will be easier to get off.’ Yeah…you put oil on rust and then move that motor across years of rust. See what that does for you.

I was on the phone with a gentleman just last week that literally talked over me as I was asking him questions─ got angry when I asked him to text us a picture and when I only got one picture he kept repeating himself that he had sent four and that I could easily see the label of the motor. As I explained that we only received one photo and it was blurry, he again cut me off and told me that he sent four and that he could see it fine in his pictures. When he had told me earlier that he had a Carrier unit, I had asked him if he saw a part number that started with an H.

He had said no. So now, after twenty minutes of talking with this guy, he magically sees a part number starting with H and gives it to me. I cross the part number without a problem and explain the price and availability to him. It all could have been avoided if he would have just listened to me the first time and gotten the model number off the back of the unit instead of taking blurry photos of his motor. It literally allows me to login to their website, look up the correct part, and any supersedes or kits he may need to install his new motor.

I had one homeowner tell me his technician told him to get a motor that was the wrong rpm and physical size. When I asked the homeowner if he knew the capacitor size, or had the model number he said no and he would call the technician so I could talk to him. The phone rings, the guy answers. I proceed to ask him if he knew what capacitor the motor and compressor took, he states over the phone, angrily, “no, no, no, you are not listening, it is the capacitor the one for the outside unit. He needs a 1/4 horsepower motor, 1075 rpm, that is all he needs.” I calmly start explaining that I needed to know what the old motor took because it could blow out his new motor if it was wrong. Not even to the end of my sentence he cuts me off again, “no─ you are not listening to what I am saying. It is the one for the outside─” I cut him off, very irritated at this point. “No, you are not listening. I know what a condensing unit is, I know what a capacitor is, I know that he needs a motor. I need to know what the old motor took so I know if he needs a new capacitor. I need to know what his label says on his motor, and I need his model number. So take a picture of that and send it to me. I will not sell you a motor until you do that.”

The 'NO YOU' thread :) - The Student Room

The homeowner immediately starts to apologize (very sweet guy, and caught in the middle of an awkward situation.) and tells the man he will go get a picture and send it to me.

The next day, I get the model number, get him the correct motor and he is on his way to comfort again. He mentions that he got a new tech to help him after realizing the other guy didn’t know what he was doing.

It isn’t the questioning that gets to me. The guys at the office are questioned too. There will always be a jerk that won’t listen no matter your gender. (don’t even get me started on engineers and youtube ‘experts’) But it is unacceptable that I have to not only repeat myself, not only take several moments of my time to help diagnose or troubleshoot, but watch as one of my male co-workers get asked the same questions and once they are answered by them the guy goes, “oh, ok I see that makes sense. Man, you are really smart I appreciate it.”

Most of the time I can brush it off. But there are days that it really hurts when I put motors together, or answer questions and if one of the guys behind the counter talk to them, they thank the guy, take the motor and walk out.

They will tell me the wrong thing when I ask questions or omit things they have done. I repeatedly ask and enforce my questions to follow up and make sure what they are telling me is correct. Often people don’t check voltage correctly, or don’t realize the steps you need to take to diagnose an issue.

I shit you not, they will tell me something and then when the guys walk over they will tell them something else. The guys would give me shit over this and tell me I just misunderstood or the homeowner didn’t understand the question. Until they caught a couple of guys doing it.

I’ve learned when and how to speak firmly─ if you don’t speak with confidence, or you backpedal people sense that. And they 100% will try and test you. I had a guy throwing around a bunch of jargon he heard on youtube and asked me muddled questions that made zero sense. When this happens, I’ve learned to ask them to explain what they have done. People tend to gloss over the important details and offer that ‘they already reset the power, they already checked voltage, they already jumped such and such wires together.’ I have to get them to go back to the original issue and explain what voltage they got, where they checked the voltage, etc.

I know when to pick my battles. If a man is having nothing to do with what I say, or is not listening I do one of two things─ go and get one of the guys from the back (usually when it is something I am unclear over) or I politely ask them to leave the store. They have no business treating me that way, or anyone for that matter.

While it can be tough, I enjoy the challenge to learn more and study how things work. It’s a daily battle but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Running a business is a challenge within itself let alone a business that is considered a ‘man’s man’ job. I plan on taking it one day at a time and shake them haters off.

What Haters Are Like