Hello all! I just wanted to let you all know that I have been working to finish my other horror novel The Watchmen https://cagreyson.com/2019/10/22/the-watchmen-part-i-a-thriller-short-story/ and will be posting another one … Continue reading Update: Ready to write again!
It’s that time of year, the one that makes you reflect over the past eleven months and wonder: How did I gain another ten pounds after eating so poorly for … Continue reading Merry Christmas – Happy Holidays!
Before we begin, let’s just all take a breath. A deep one. Ok, we ready? Anxiety sucks. For anyone that has ever experienced it knows─ it is the worst. … Continue reading Tuesday Musings – Anxiety in Men and Women and How they Differ
Ever since I was a little girl, I could remember being wildly conflicted. I liked being near people, but interacting with them was exhausting.
The strange thing is, I can talk about anything and usually get along with others easily.
But to do it all the time? Brings a great weariness to my bones.
I used to stream 6 days a week. o.o Can you imagine? I think it’s for some people, but definitely not for me. I prefer the ‘record a show and post it afterward’ format. Engaging with people just wore. me. out.
Mostly, it’s the toll it takes on your soul and then somehow being ‘ready’ to be with your loved ones afterward. They got a half version of me. And gurrrrl─ the crankiness is real.
The holidays are a special sort of pressure for someone that is used to being alone for 8-10 months out of the year. My family has never really understood that and I get razzed over it constantly.
I’m mostly just a hermit, but I do occasionally like the company of others.
Ok, let’s be real─ I would probably build an empire of bots, order everything off of amazon, and cook for myself. (I just need those damn bots to be made for companionship, I’ve got everything else covered.)
I have this odd problem of understanding people’s life issues that sometimes make me seem─ cold or distant. When someone tells me an issue, I tend to offer them a solution. I hear that is a no-no, and have learned since then to pause before answering and ask if they would prefer comfort or to just listen vs. telling them what I think is the ‘correct solution.’
That isn’t to say that I don’t understand emotions, or that I lack those sorts of feelings─ I just can’t understand why people tend to stay in situations that make them unhappy.
I didn’t understand what they all got upset over when they got dumped. I guess I’m someone that has always found a brighter side to everything. Like, “oh well, at least I get more time to myself now─ win!” I offered this explanation once and was promptly told that normal people don’t work this way. I still to this day don’t understand why it’s upsetting to not be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me─ but, I can at least offer comfort to those that it does upset.
High school was fun, y’all.
My entire life has been this viewpoint:
- Presented with problem─ research problem, find solution. Excellent.
- Presented with emotional problem─ research problem, find several solutions, offer said solutions─ receive angry person?
- panic and run away
- lock self away for several months until everyone has forgotten about it
- resume normal friendship
I had the same problem understanding girls in my life. I would hear them complain about certain shoes, or hairstyles, or clothes and I would say, “just…don’t wear them?”
Holidays to me are a giant weird blob of nope.
I have to drive hours through an area I’m not familiar with to sit and listen to a side of the family that makes me want to tear my ears out. (I go because my dad would get sad if I didn’t) I stopped participating the the gift exchange years ago because the gifts for women always included some sort of horrendous body spray/lotion set, skin paint, or smelly wax. And not the good, clean scented smelly wax that you burn after you poop─ but an odd, mysterious musky scent that all older ladies seem to slather on everything they own.
Then, there’s the endless amount of questions which inevitably lead to the fact that I had a horrible, awful childhood with nothing remotely entertaining to talk about. (unless you count my interaction with other human beings.)
I still cannot understand why handing someone a gift card or money is viewed negatively. Alternatively, I do make things for people─ but there is that still-small voice that says, ‘you know, they could just buy what they want instead of you spending time and effort making something that collects dust.’
Yet every year I’m made to be part of this horrible ritual.
The last few years my family grew further and further apart. I started realizing it just last year when the tiny little social creature that lives in a locked box of my subconscious peeked out and said, “it’s time.”
Which brings me to the next part of my level of fucked-up. Now that no one wanted to meet up, it made me recognize how much I miss being a part of─ well, anyone’s life.
My brain: “I like people, they real nice”
Also my brain: “I hope half the entire planet dies in a pile of shit and fire.”
I know, right?
So, I’m always stuck between absolutely feeling lonely and 100% do not want human contact like, 80% of the time.
I guess the weird and messed up point I’m trying to amble my way over to is this:
Don’t screw up relationships with people that tend to show they care for you. Also, no matter how crazy your family makes you, they still love you and choose to be a part of your life.
And for the love of all that is good, please stop texting that ex (or anyone) you never got over. If they aren’t in your life─ they don’t care. And neither should you.
Take it from someone that focused on all the wrong people for a majority of her life.
If you’ve wondered what I’m about, I’m not just a blogger─ I write novels, novellas, and short stories. (when we aren’t adventuring with our stories on Twitter.)When I have time, I record podcasts and audiobooks for all of you as well. Occasionally, I will post my work on here for you to read but I thought it a good idea to post where you can find all of my work!
I’m aiming to become published, (so that I can write and do podcasting for a living) but until I become one of the lucky few to do that, I like to share it with others. It gives me real joy and excitement to create these worlds for all of you.
If you would like to see what I’m about, you can find all of my written work here.
I don’t have all of my work up, but I am working toward getting it ALL slowly uploaded (I have to sort through tons of stuff) but I should have it all up in the next month.
If you’re familiar with my work and you’d love to support it, this is a great site to do it through, or through my Patreon page.
For anyone and everyone that takes time out of their day to read my stories and check out my work, thank you.
Have a wonderful Tuesday
Hey guys! I’m slowly working toward moving all my recipes over to the new food blog. It’s a work-in-progress, but I’ll have them up as soon as I can.
So what happens to this blog? I will keep this as articles, and stories so it doesn’t become confusing for people that are following this for the articles and writing. So, easy peasy─
This blog will be for writing and podcasts, and the food blog will be just for food!
I hope you guys have a great week, and I look forward to posting tons of fun stories (and spooky stories with the holiday’s coming up) and audiobooks.
Take care all,
Did you know that Friday the 13th actually stems from not one, but two fears: The fear of the number 13 The fear of Fridays. Isn’t that wild? But, … Continue reading 13 Fun and Freaky Facts about Friday the 13th
So after several weeks of mulling it over (let’s be honest, more like 3 days) I thought about how it could be confusing to have this as a writing blog … Continue reading Creating a new food blog
Hey guys! September is here, which means I’ve finally managed to move into my new space. I spent the entire holiday weekend moving and while (disappointingly enough) I didn’t get … Continue reading September is here!
Every month, I’d like to start adding a poll so that you guys can vote on what you would like to see for my Twitch creative. You can find my polls on my Twitter account. I’ll try to keep the poll open for a few days so people have time to get in their say!
My Twitch gaming schedule is every Sunday at 10:00 a.m. CST and I have my other days sprinkled through when I can. Sunday’s, however, are set in stone and you can catch me each week on this day!
Just to let you all know, you can find my previous year’s audiobooks right here on my website, or on Soundcloud or YouTube. Those will be starting back up this year, along with my occasional Podcasts between conventions. I’m excited to announce that I will be attending a few conventions this year, and will be posting a schedule soon!
If you are a fan of my books, you can follow me on Amazon to catch updates as I release them each year. My sci-fi book is due for release sometime this year, and my book 3 in the Hell’s Gate Series is TBD. (updates coming soon)
Every once in a while, I just like to make these reminder posts for people that may have an interest in checking out my work stuffesses. 🙂
Btw, you can vote now on Twitter for my next creative stream!
Next up, is my keto recipe for keto cornbread stuffing! Have a great day, guys!