Our twitter story threads posted here!

Below are our Twitter story threads. I’ll continue to update this and post it as we near the end of our journey. If you would like to join in on the fun and vote, you can find me here on Twitter. There is an active vote going on now! 

Today is an unremarkable Tuesday, you wake up, get ready, and slide into the driver’s side coffee in-hand. You have a team meeting, so you are leaving earlier than usual today and it’s still quite dark outside. It’s a new town with a new job for less hours and better pay. You got a good deal on a new place that’s less than thirty miles from the city.

You turn onto the main road, spirits high with possibilities of a new life. It’s quiet out where you live and you’re nestled behind a patch of woods. The neighbors are just a few minutes apart and the amenities are centralized. You chuckle at how boring you’ve become.You had taken the time over the weekend to get to know the city, so with confidence you turn left onto the main road and hum along with the music. 

You’re aware that you have to drive for several minutes before you hit the main highway, but after fifteen minutes you begin to second guess your turn. The trees haven’t grown any less sparse, in fact they look incredibly dense. You deliberate for a bit but decide to stay the course. Maybe it just seemed to take longer than you remembered. You shrug it off and crank the music up, there’s still plenty of time left. The road twists and bends, you don’t remember it being hilly either. It’s become narrow and to your surprise, the trees have cleared to reveal you are fairly high on top of a steep hill. You need to turn back but quickly realize there isn’t even enough room to do so.

There doesn’t seem to be anyone in the area so you put your car in reverse and slowly back down the hill, steering it into the middle of the road so that someone would have the chance to swerve if they needed to. The road swells a tiny bit and you are able to turn around. All too soon, you find yourself at the end of the road. It’s a T intersection with only left and right. You frown, confused at your predicament─ you hadn’t turned at all. Upon closer inspection you also notice the pavement has turned to dirt. Completely flustered at this point, you pull out your phone. There’s barely a bar on your connection and it keeps changing between the edge network and one bar. You call out to your phone assistant to open the maps app, but the only thing popping up is ‘lost connection’. You inch forward into the grass to get out of the way, cut the engine and step outside. Maybe you’ll get a better connection. The air hits you like a blast chiller, a wall of freezing winds beat against your face and skin. Your teeth chatter as you glance at your phone. 

The second bar pops up and you quickly call up to work to let them know you will be running behind. You get a hold of an admin at the front desk and are transferred over. After what feels like an eternity, the line clicks and your manager picks up. They sound confused. You quickly explain what’s going on and that you’re running behind. There’s a pause on the other end and then ask, “who is this?” Your face flushes as you realize they probably haven’t memorized your name. You explain that you just started and wanted to let someone know. There’s another long pause and then, “I think you have the wrong office.” I frown and repeat the phone number back to them and then give them the name of the company. “Yes, that’s correct and you have the right office─ but no one works here by that name.” Maybe my paperwork was shifted around I offer and that we were having a meeting this morning to go over progress on our projects. This time, they sound irritated, “Look, I don’t know who this is but we don’t have a new employee. If you worked here you would know the meeting was rescheduled for next week.” No one told me, I responded, starting to get a little miffed myself. I told them to ask Ben and that there was probably a little mix up. In any case, I will be up there as soon as I can. He says nothing and hangs up the phone. How odd.

You can get a signal but still can’t open your maps. The worst of it is you can’t see a road name to even call and ask how to get back. You look back and forth and then back at the road you drove on. The road is so bad that you worry you might blow out a tire but you manage to finally come to a part of it that has calmed. You continue down the path until it finally gives way to pavement and then ends at a main road. You purse your lips and look in both directions tapping your fingers on the steering wheel. If you don’t remember turning down the road to begin with, how in the hell would you know which way to turn? Just how many T roads were in this city? You glance out across the field to get some sort of idea on where you are, but all you can see is slow, creeping fog. Your attention turns to the left and you spot flashing yellow lights. Your curiosity is peaked, but on the right you can vaguely make out what looks like a city. 

You’re not sure, but it could be worth driving toward the yellow flashing, it could mean construction workers and help. On the other hand, it could just be warning lights and it would be a waste. After deciding to turn left towards the lights, you drive for several minutes before finding the source of the light. Shocked, you see the entrance of a tunnel. A long, dimly lit tunnel with yellow blinking lights looms ahead. You come to a stop just outside of the tunnel, unsure if you want to proceed but ultimately decide it’s the best option. The end of the tunnel isn’t in sight but does look vaguely familiar. You press the gas pedal and slip into the darkness. 

You drive down what feels like the longest tunnel in history, but still can’t see the end. 

It’s beginning to dawn on you that you haven’t seen a single car, or anyone for that matter. The sickly yellow lights flicker every hundred feet or so creating an eerie twilight effect. The abysmal amount of light they put off couldn’t light a house, let alone a tunnel. Even in dark tunnels you can see some sort of light. Something isn’t right. You become more and more apprehensive the further in you travel. Are you being paranoid or is it getting darker? The lights have now taken on a faint green hue. Your foot eases up on the gas pedal and you slow to a crawl. The green-lit area continues for quite a way down. You’re in a straightaway, no more bends, and an end still isn’t visible. Your panic mounts as you turn back toward where you came from and the road is nearly pitch-black.

It could be just your mind playing tricks on you, though, so you manage to turn your car around. You can’t shake the feeling that you need to get out of here as soon as possible. The air here is stagnant with a distinct musty smell and you can’t put your finger on it, but

The primal part of your brain is in full force, screaming to run away. You barely make it out of the green lighted space when your car dies. You look down at your gas tank meter and see that you still have plenty of gas. Maybe the air down here is causing issues?

You know it’s total b.s. but at this point it has to be something non-gas related and you don’t want to even think about the possibility of being stranded here. You try starting it up again, but nothing happens. Not even a click. Your heart races as you fail again and again

to start it. You glance around nervously to see if anyone is around but only the ghoulish glow and silence surrounds you. Taking a deep breath you grab the door handle and push. You wince at the noise echoing down the tunnel sure that at any moment something horrible

Would rush toward you from the shadows. The air is heavy on your lungs and you struggle to feel as if you can draw in enough air. It’s heavy and─ wet, saturated with a cloying damp sensation and musty. The air actually tastes musty with the scent of three week old bread.

You roll down your window, put the car in neutral and push the car toward the lighted part of the tunnel. The car instantly roars to life, nearly giving you a heart attack. You reach over, put it in park and hop inside─ eager to get back on the road. Just like before as soon

as the front end crosses the threshold it dies. Curious, you put it in neutral and back it up. It again fires up. Maybe your original theory is right and the air is weird. There’s nothing more you can do except turn back and continue down the road the way you were going.  

You travel several miles in the milky-green twilight when a blue light catches your attention to the left. You slow down and peer over. It’s a small gas station with a convenience store. You sigh in relief and pull into one of two spaces.

He still doesn’t respond. You’re stuck mentally trying to decide if you need to bolt─ Then a thought occurs to you, in your haste to get out of here you have forgotten to check and see if you need gas. You take a deep breath and turn back toward the counter

“Um, sorry. I also need gas, I think. What would cover all of those?” Your eyes raise up but you’re surprised to find that the attendant is gone. You spin around quickly but there is nothing there either. You can clearly see the pumps, but no price listed on their sign

You spin back, expecting him to be right behind you but only the same empty counter with the twenty dollars greets you. You rummage through your bag and pockets but only find another twenty and some ones tucked away. You place everything you can find on the counter and walk briskly back to the door. You reach for the handle and freeze. The breath sticks in your throat as you stare at the reflection in the window on the door. 

The blood slowly drains from your face─ you can’t move, can’t breathe. A sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach forms as you realize that there is definitely something very wrong with the store clerk. His reflection sits unnaturally tall, so tall in fact that the ceiling is less than a few inches from his head. To your absolute horror you see his head is bent at a 90° angle. His face is distorted, you can’t make it out but his body reminds you of the daddy long legs you used to play with as a child. Your legs won’t move, you’re stuck staring at the abomination─ fascinated at your impending doom.Insect-like noises fill the space, like a loud brood of cicada’s calling for their mates. But this is different, it’s paired with static-y type sounds that vibrate through your chest and head. You stagger back, clutching at your head. This is it, the moment your body snaps into action. You shove the door and bolt outside to your car. The food spills everywhere as you shove the key into the ignition and lock the doors. Your car roars to life and you slam it into reverse then peel out of the parking lot.

You put enough distance between the gas station and the car that you finally slow down and pull over. You let out a long shaky breath, your hands trembling as you grip the steering wheel. What the hell was that, you wonder. You take in long, steady breaths trying to make sense of what happened. Your heart beats so hard and fast you can feel the blood rushing through your head and chest. In your haste to get away you now realize that the tunnel has grown lighter. Instant relief washes over you as you see an end to your concrete prison ahead. Your shoulders relax and you hit the gas, screaming toward the end of this hell. You can’t believe it, the car finally clears the exit into the beautiful night air beneath the open sky and bless them─ the stars. Your eyes drop from the sky back down to the road. No. It can’t be, it’s impossible. This can’t be real. Your lip quivers and tears stream down your face. The entrance to the tunnel stares back at you. The small patch of land between the tunnel you exited and the tunnel in front of you is no more than 500 ft away. The stars are twinkling above you and the surrounding area is lush and green. It would be beautiful if it weren’t for the fact that a tunnel waited for you at the end. You want more than anything for this day to end. It started out so wonderfully─ new job, new life ─ you had even left early to make sure that you were on time.

Not only had you become lost, but upon calling your new job you were told that your job didn’t exist and no one was even hired. That could all be chalked up to a clerical error but─ this? Where the hell are you and for that matter, how the hell do you get out? What in the blue hell is happening? Why is it happening to you? Your breath comes out fast and shallow and you can feel your chest tightening the more that you think about everything. You nearly jump out of your skin when your phone rings next to you. You snatch it up and look at the screen. The text displayed just says ‘unknown’. Probably spam, but hell maybe there would be a salesman on the line─ someone that can help. You answer quickly and wait for sound on the other end. You hold your breath nervous that it may just be a computer on the other end. “Hello, are you there?” The man asks. “Yes,” you reply “I’m here! Please help me, I’m lost and my phone is barely getting a signal.” The caller pauses for a moment, “you said you are lost?” Your shoulders sag in relief that a real person is on the other line. “Yes, I am. Please, could you call someone to come and get me?” His voice is soothing, like butter coating a warm pan, “Of course I can. What was your last known location?” you pause thinking about how many turns you had made. Your voice shakes as you reply, “I was on highway 134 going toward I-35 when I somehow got turned around onto a mountain trail.” Your chest relaxes a degree as you can remember more, “there was a point on the Path that got too small so I had to turn around. I somehow spilled out onto a T in the road, then I turned around and made it back to what I think was highway 134 again. I took a left at that T and went through the entrance of an extremely long tunnel.”

“Mm hmm,” he said, sounding as if he were filing his nails on the other side, already bored with the conversation. You’re angered by his shitty attitude, but keep it to yourself knowing he is your only option to get out of here. You stutter but continue “I-I’m not sure where I am, but I know for a fact that I am now outside and there is another tunnel ahead of me. Please, please help me.” The man on the line sighs, “have you tried driving through the other tunnel?” Your temper flares, “I won’t drive anymore, my car is close to being out of gas please, just call emergency services and give them the general area, these calls are recorded right?” He chuckles, “yes, something like that.” You can’t believe how much of an asshole this guy is being but you take a deep breath and try to let it go. “Go through the tunnel,” he states. His demeanor has changed, almost threatening. “Didn’t you hear me─” “You shouldn’t have taken them.” Your body goes ice cold and your hands begin to shake uncontrollably. “Please,” you plead. He laughs on the other line, “go through the tunnel” he yells.

The line goes silent and you stare at it for several moments. The phone falls from your hand as your eyes drift up to the tunnel entrance. You can’t bring yourself to go back into that tunnel, you just can’t. There has to be a better way. You glance at your phone in hopes to find that signal has returned, it hasn’t. You make the tough decision to turn off your phone to conserve battery. The car charger works, but not nearly enough. If only you had remembered to bring the portable charger with you. Firm in your resolve you decide to exit the car and search the area. Maybe fresh air will help clear your head. You close the car door softly, just in case there is another murderous entity nearby. The open air feels magical against your skin and a warm, gentle breeze caresses you. You look around the area and sigh. There doesn’t appear to be any lights near which means no houses or city. You’re in a more elevated area so you can see hills and mountains in the distance. From either vantage point no sign of civilization seems to exist. It’s you, nature, and a road of never-ending horrors. The real problem is figuring out which way to go. Your pulse quickens as you realize it will be a guess─ one that could easily end your life. There is a small part of you that wants to believe you can make it out of this alive. You can’t bring yourself to accept that, somehow you feel it may be the end.

Without many options other than driving into that damn tunnel, you just have to make a calculated guess. But before that, there is something bothering you about what the creature and the man on the phone said. Why were snacks and drinks worth so much? Come to think of it, in your haste to get away you haven’t even looked at them. You open the driver’s side door and slide in, pulling the door closed next to you. Your hand connects with something crinkly and you fish it out from under the seat. You flip the chip bag around and scan the entire package, but can’t find anything out of place. Next you find a candy bar but it too just looks and feels like a normal one. You reach again and find a drink. It’s not very cold, but is still covered in a dewy condensation. You hold the bottle up to the dim light and your eyes grow wide. You inhale sharply and quickly toss the bottle on your passenger seat. Your lips tremble as you fight to keep it together, to not scream your lungs out. No, no, no, no! Inside the bottle, almost perfectly preserved is a fetus. You retch uncontrollably but only bile manages to come up. No way. There was absolutely no way you would drive through that tunnel again. You climb out of the car and try to make yourself think. Had there been any turns? Had you just gone straight? If you had continued west after your turn it would mean that the way back to the main road you came from is to the south. The problem is, you aren’t sure if that is any better─ everything has been deserted. Which leaves north, or further west paralleling the tunnel but not going into it.   

Our Current Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Apocalyptic Campaign Adventure Story Re-cap

So if you follow me on Twitter, you know that I run mini-campaigns and story arcs (along with my novels and short stories I leave on here.) If you managed to come into this campaign a little late, or just want to enjoy the story─ here it is!

The year is 2060, we’ve discovered that J.R.R Tolkien’s tales were true and that they just existed in another dimension that he stumbled upon as a young man. Their world’s magic is wizards, ours, scientists. But there was a problem when we opened the gates

to the other side. We didn’t realize that by opening one portal, we opened several more allowing the other side to stroll into ours. Dragons have decimated our defenses and burned down several cities, a nuclear reactor has gone critical and caused a super race of Orcs, Trump is now king of Middle-earth, and we are in a gridlocked battle to take back our planet. Humans now have the ability to do magic, but not all of us have great powers─ some are just weird or useless. Science is found to be evil and banned, replaced with spell-books.

Underground there has been a faction of dark elves and humans that have slowly built up defenses. Humans, being new to magic, are seen as second class citizens. Enter you, the leader of the underground race. You are strong, a bit stupid, and vaguely remember science. You have a plan, a good one, to conquer the underground and then, yesss the world. You need to build a team of what you can find that will help with this plan. You are so pleased by this plan, you are so great. You’ll have to remember to pat yourself on the back later. You have to make a few trips this next time but you have saved up enough vacation hours that it is possibly to take a whole two weeks to gather the team. Off we go to get our sexy─I mean badass team of─ something to do the plan. Whatever, we’ll figure it out! Off we go.

You decide on a team of a rogue, fighter, magic, science, cleric, defender. Yes, all of them damn it. You had to have calculated someone in there that will help, and surely they’ll do it for the experience, right? Who needs money! After some time of negotiations, and by negotiations you mean beating them with a club and chaining them together, you have a team─ Willing, or eventually willing, fuck it! And maybe one day you’ll give them weapons too. After they see how seriously awesome you are. After weeks of brainwas- persuasion, they have come to see that we all need to come together and rule these pesky elves. They’re a fairly docile race that believes in ‘talking it out’ instead of fighting. What a bunch of dum-dums. Not a weapon to be found. Now it’s time to decide.

#

What do we do? Because, well, you’re awesome plan didn’t quite anticipate it being─this easy? Ah, to hell with it! Ah HA yes! Pillage the town. Excellent. The six of us shall set fire to this town and create- terror. So much terror they will be speaking about it for quite. Some. Time. Weeks, maybe even─a month. Ah, I’m going to cry happiness tears. Next, we become castle stormers but now, yes the scientist and the mage make big booms on all the rooftops and the horse’s manes. Their hair is far too lush for my liking. Show offs.

We set their world on fire without too much trouble. It’s easy, and I have become their master. I, am invincible. We have acquired more slav- I mean servants to persuade. Us, and our less-pretty ponies are charging our way to the castle.

#

This is insane, there’s hardly anyone guarding the castle. At this rate, I’ll have new digs and probably sleeping in a bed fit for, well, me.

We burst through the gates, our torches held high and pause inside. Scattered around are several images of different kings of all ages. There’s peculiar paper hats shaped like crowns, and a cheap looking throne. In front of it is a large, fake stone with a sword in it.

We shuffle our way through and discover a large hall with lots of seats surrounding a dirt arena. They must have used this for some sort of…spectating.It seems the lords of this very odd castle have fled. For now, we will enjoy our- win? And wake to a new day of battle. Our battles, though victorious, have left us feeling less than satisfied at the fact that we haven’t fought much. Are they really battles, I wonder? The dark elves have retreated further into their tunnels and have been replaced by our pale brethren.

Well, never mind. My team has finally trustworthy enough to allow weapons and we have picked up a few miners, converted to fighters, and a bard. He seems obsessed with me and follows me around all day, but I cannot fault him. I am, after all, glorious.

I’m super conflicted, there’s a side of me that really wants to charge up to the surface, or follow the elves further into the tunnel. I can see a number, it’s clear in my mind. 9, yes 9, perfect. We shall storm the surface. Grab your weapons team, WOO YEAH we’re going all out. Epic battle, here we come!

On our steeds we charge, upward to the surface. Our weapons drawn, our voices roaring we plunge into the light.

The sun blinds us as we charge out screaming into the open. We quiet as we look around. Where…are we? There is nothing but sand, dirt, and hills for miles. In the distance there appears to be a city but there are a few hills along the way. There doesn’t seem to be anything else around accept for that one town. The weather feels dry and the sun is beating overhead. We sheath our weapons. What is this nonsense? Just a few years ago this place was crawling with Orcs. When will our battle happen? I growl and stamp my feet.

A horrible screech fills the air and I spin toward the noise. Oh hell yeah. The color drains from the others’ face but I let out a whoop and start beating my sword against my shield. A large, red dragon is diving toward us, its belly filling with flame. “MAGE” I shout behind me. He looks to me his eyebrows raised, “I can’t just pump out a wall spell right away, I need time” he shouts. Precious seconds are ticking by as the dragon blows a wall of flame. It’s screaming toward our team when I yell, “Tuck and roll, princess’s─ he’s coming in hot!” We dive back into the cave as a wall of fire destroys everything in front of us. The mage screams, rolling on the ground and we all quickly help him stamp out the fire (and maybe his fingers too) “Well then,” the mage growls, “I guess some thanks is in order. I’ll prepare my spell now, thanks.” I’m not a 100% sure, but I think I detect a hint of sarcasm in his words. We send a scout outside and when he doesn’t return, we have our answer. Or he’s a big coward mcpoop.

I have another scout crawl over with a sword to catch a glimpse of the angry beast. He knows where we are, and dragons hate anything near their nesting grounds. This one would not budge until we are taken out. The soldier sacrifices his life as I manage to spot just a flash of red to the south. We now know which way he’s coming from. I’m surprised as the mage’s spell surrounds us.

With our mage close, we stay behind the hill but have our archers use a first wave of arrows and the mage ready another spell. The arrows fall harmlessly to the ground and we dive behind the rock as another burst of flame narrowly misses us. The mage’s spell has kept us in one piece and bought us precious time as the dragon goes to loop around. We shift our position behind the other side of the rock and wonder how long this asshole is going to be able to produce fire. Surely, he must be tiring. “Um…sir?” I turn back and look at the squeaky sounding voice. It belongs to a young man, a farmer boy I suspect. “Maybe we could try freezing the beast or aim for his belly.” After I stare at him for several seconds he adds, “that’s uh…their weak spot?” I clap him hard on the shoulder, “good man─” that is very useful information.” I grin and look at the others, “alright guys, you heard what he said, aim for the belly!” There’s a few hearty laughs and they nod. We aim dead center as the creature fills its belly once more, with a yell, we give her all we’ve got.

In a combined effort, the ice and arrows do the trick and the beast dives for the earth. He hits the ground, stunned but still alive. “Ah, shit.” I mutter as the beast shakes it’s head, trying to get up.

The mage struggles to keep up as I charge toward the fallen beast. He tries to push himself up, but I manage to clamber up his neck and saddle his head. I toss my shield aside and stab downward. He roars and shakes his head violently, flinging me to the ground. In the distance I hear a faint call, a squeaky voice. I can’t make out what he says. I’m shaking my own head, dazed from the fall. He yells again and I catch the tail end of his, “THROAT” No head, right? I stumble a few steps, bend over and pick up my sword. I stare hard at the beast, the cogs starting to spin. Ah, the lad had a point before. It’s the throat with my sharp and pointy. I rush at him and he screeches loudly as the flem completely covers my face and shoulders. My sword finds it’s target and he shudders, then dies.

I take a few breaths and then climb the giant lizard again. I rub my foot into his eye and spit on him. My chest puffs and I turn toward my adoring crowd. “Are you slow? Like, legitimately a moron? You could have gotten us all KILLED.” My brows furrow, this wasn’t the greeting I expected for saving their lives. “You ungrateful shit. I spat. I just saved your lives.” “Barely,” he counters. I huff, crossing my arms. “Well, you smell bad.” His eyebrows go up, “and a child at that, lovely.” I turn over to the team and they all look away.

I clear my throat. “Well, you’re welcome,” I say loudly. Groans fill the air as they all move around the beast and start looting. The mage sighs and shakes his head, “we have a choice here.” I look at him blankly. “Dragons protect treasure.” My eyes widen. Forget taking over the town if we can get some amazing loot. Who knows what that creature was sitting on? Yes, the more I think on it the better it sounds. Come, fellow travelers, we shall head toward the treasure!

I turn to the mage and bellow, “can you do a sort of, you know, voo doo or gobledy-whatsit to find out where he came from?” The mage raises a brow, “A location spell?” he says dryly. I nod my head, “yeah, sure.” He sighs and opens his spell book. After several moments (and bizarre instruments the mage brandished) we were on our way to the creature’s den. I wondered if we would stumble upon a bit of entertainment. Like a super orc, or perhaps hoards of goblins. My mouth practically watered thinking about wetting my sword on their bodies. I strode ahead of the group laughing loudly at how they would never suspect such a clever group. We made it over the final hill and I paused, looking up at the glorious mountains sprinkled with forests.

We reach a fork in the road & the farm boy gently taps my shoulder. “uh─sir?” I turn toward him, irritated at my interrupted daydream. “yes?” “We aren’t really dressed for the mountains. Shouldn’t we get different clothes?” I glance down. “Alright, men─” someone clears their throat loudly and I arch a brow at them. I stare for a few seconds and shrug it off. I open my mouth to speak and I hear a small, “and women!” I ground my jaw in annoyance, “yes, yes” I say quickly, waving my hands at them. “We’re going to get clothes, I turn toward the farm hand─ warm ones. We’ll need them for the journey to the beast’s den.” The team grumbles but they all agree and we head toward the town. It’s a bit out of the way, but I estimate we will be closing in On the dragon’s lair by nightfall if we hurry, or at the latest tomorrow morning. The longer we take, the more it will be looted as word spreads throughout the town. In just over an hour we cross the threshold. The town is alive with hundreds of people.

It’s a quaint place, like something from a storybook and I can’t help but chuckle. What strange times we live in with competing technology and dragons. It takes some searching, but we finally locate the merchant. He’s a shifty looking sort and immediately approaches us. “Well then, what can I do you for?” he asks, eyeing one of the women archers. She crosses her arms over her chest and walks away. “We need warm things to cover our bodies.” “Jesus,” the mage growls, “we need clothes.” The merchant nods, “I see.” “We have all sorts here, but we may not have enough in stock for a group your size.” He rubs his chin, “I may be able to put in a rush order, but it’ll cost you.” His eyes are practically gleaming. “What have you got for it?” I’m impatient with this game. “We─ have dragon scales,” I reply eagerly.

The merchant’s eyes widen and then he rubs his hands together. “Dragon scale, you say? Let me take a look at it.” The mage grips my arm tightly. “The fighter is delusional. We have no such thing.” The words fly from my mouth, “Yes we do. We fought it this morning why are you lying to this man? I single-handedly ceased it’s breath with my sword, the wretched thing firing at us every second it got.” The mage relaxed his grasp and placed a hand on his forehead, “gods-damn it man, have you no wit?” I pursed my lips and furrowed my brow. “Right. Well, you have just made our task exponentially more difficult.” He stormed away and I shrug off his moodiness. “A red dragon then,” he purrs, rubbing his hands together. “Tell you what, I’ll let you and your team have these fine furs for a fraction of the cost.”

I grin and nod my head. The group groans. “You idiot, he wants something far more in return,” the archer growls. I raise an eyebrow at her then turn to him, “Is this true?” He does a slow, exaggerated nod. “Take me with your team. You are going to loot, right?” “See?” she spats. “I told you he would want a piece of the action.” I tilt my head, “no, you said─” “Nevermind,” she interrupts. I can’t understand why they are all so hostile toward me, but they do have a point. One more share wouldn’t be so bad, right? I grin at him.

“I’ll even sweeten the deal. If you bring me, I’ll offer two of my best men in return and I’ll sell you the furs at 75% off. A steal, really.” The group shifts and stares at him and then me. “Well, what say you?” he asks. The mage broods in the back.

The mage speaks from behind me at the same time as me, “Sure, come alo─” “Just take the scales,” we size each other up. “What harm can come if he just tags along?” I ask. “What harm can─” he starts incredulously, “he can rob us, murder us, or have friends waiting for starters. And don’t believe for a second he hasn’t thought of it.” The man mutters something behind me. “Or,” I challenge, “he could come in handy and his men could help fight.” “Yeah,” the man says. “Shut up,” we yell together. The man opens his mouth pointing a finger and then changes his mind and shuts it. After a few seconds, he tries a different approach. “Listen, things aren’t going too well with my business. I need this and it’s not like I could carry it all back.”

“You’d have plenty of time if we’re all dead,” the mage snapped. I start laughing and both of them lift a brow at me. “This isn’t funny,” the mage says. I shake my head, “so distrustful,” I say. “And you’re an idiot,” he shoots back. I roll my eyes.

“Well then, take a vote. I say we’ll be fine.” I emphasize the word ‘fine’ waving my hand. “Sure, just sign our lives away. No big deal.” I frown at him, “remember who saved your ass in the tunnels, shithead. Oh, and on land.”

The mage grumbles but nods. “How soon can you and your men be ready? With the furs as well,” I add feeling proud that I remembered. “We have the furs in stock, the men will be back within the hour.” He grins, “you won’t regret this, thank you!” The team is still behaving coldly toward the man, so I clap him on the shoulder. “No need to thank me, just have our backs and we’ll have yours.” The merchant disappears in the back and then returns with enough furs to last a few winters. “Don’t have enough, eh?” the mage drawls. The merchant chuckles, scratching his head. “Have to make a living somehow,” he says. I pat my belly after we’ve fully dressed in our furs. “I don’t know about you, but I could go for a bite.” The group agrees. “What’s good around here, man?” I ask.

“Only the one place,” he says shrugging. “But, they have good beer and decent wings.” My mouth waters. The way I’m feeling I could eat a hundred of those. The group all heads over to the pub chatting excitedly. The door opens and we all inhale at once. Hell yes, food.

“Hey─ David! How’s it going?” The merchant waves and smiles. “Great, me and my friends here want a round of wings and beer.” The tavern owner nods and heads to the kitchen. After a day like today, my bones feel weary. If we’re the only ones to know about the dragon, maybe we could just spend one night here. I look around the table and it seems like everyone else is thinking the same thing. We look tired. The man bursts from the back with another busty waitress and we’re served our beers. If heaven were a place on earth, it would be here.

We decide to stay in the warm inn, especially after our bellies are filled and that we will rise early for our adventure. I barely make it to my room when I collapse in my bed. I vaguely hear some idle threats from the mage before drifting off.

Sometime in the middle of the night, a scratching noise sounds outside my window. I grumble, roll over, and peek out. My eyes widen as the most beautiful woman I have ever seen floats outside. She curls her finger at me, beckoning me to join her. I grin shyly at her. She is captivating and the most unearthly beauty I have ever seen. I glance back at the mage, he’s muttering something in his sleep. The only sound in the inn is the crackling fire behind me. There’s some animalistic part of me that wants to join her.

I’m nervous she may change her mind but when I turn back, she’s gotten closer to the glass. She gently taps, smiling at me. I hold my finger up and run to put on clothes. When I return, she’s nowhere to be found. I search outside and sigh in relief. She’s waving below. I slip open the window and smile, the mage is out cold. Now that the cool air has hit me, I’m wide awake. I look around outside and realize I can climb down and then up the side of the building. Quiet as I can, I slip on my boots and tip-toe over to the window.

My foot catches on the wood and for a moment I think I might slip but I regain my balance. These boards are slick with ice. I lean out, my leg over, and In my haste to jump over the window, I lose my footing and tip over the side. I crash, hard, into a cart full of linens. The cart bends and then cracks into two. I think the worst has possibly happened when I catch of whiff of something─ foul. My nose wrinkles what on earth have I─ my eyes widen and I retch. This isn’t just any pile of linens. It’s dirty unmentionables. I fling them off of me as fast as I can, screaming at the top of my lungs. I jump up, brushing myself off and shuddering. I have never smelled something this awful in my life. And I’ve cleaned elven chamber-pots. This smell will haunt me for some time. I turn around to the inn and freeze. A dozen eyes are staring at me from the entry way. Then the snickers start until their laughter is a dull roar. I’ll never live this down.

The next day I wake grumbling to myself. The mage has a shit-eating grin on his face. “Morning, sunshine,” he calls. This is the happiest I’ve seen him in a while. Figures it would be due to my suffering. “So,” he says, “mind telling me what last night was about?”

My brows furrow as I purse my lips. I didn’t owe this guy anything and I know he’d really make fun of me if I actually tell him why I leaped out of a second story building. I’m going to lie my ass off. Screw him and his dumb face. “I was sleepwalking, if you must know.” he mage squints an eye and tilts his head. “Did you now,” he says, stroking his chin. “That must have been some dream.” He’s watching me closely. I don’t like it, not one bit. I quickly change the subject, “Anyhow, my misfortunes aside, we should get moving.” He nods at me. “For the first time you’re actually making sense,” he pauses, “that worries me but we’ll address it later. Breakfast is ready downstairs.” I nod and gather the last of my things. He goes to walk out and then turns back, “try not to lose your footing on the way down.”

Breakfast has left a bad taste in my mouth. The shit-giving has not stopped since I’ve woken up. We trudge out at first light and I sulk in the back next to the mage. Curiously, he’s seemed nicer toward me than usual. Who knew that my misery made him happy. Joy. t’s mid morning by the time we reach the bottom of the frosty peaks. The group stretches and yawns, then we start unloading our various dried meats and fruit. The archer grins at me and pulls out three very large rabbits from her bag. We all stare hungrily at them. “I thought we might like something fresh,” she says as she lays them down. “We’ll need to cook them, though. Might add a little to our trip, but we’ll make it before sundown.” I’m barely listening as I pull out my knife, ready to skin them. The mage eyes them warily.

He goes to say something and I hold up my hand, “must you always ruin everything for me? What is it now, a devil creature going to pop out and grab me?” The mage sneers, “Do you think before you speak, or are you really as thick headed as an ogre?” I roll my eyes at him and grip one of the animals. He places a hand on my arm, “cooking an animal means fire,” he says softly. “Usually,” I say, tearing the fur away. He sighs, “fire, causes smoke. Cooked meat draws in creatures.” I pause, staring longingly at the small meal.

“What if we cook it in the coals?” One of the men offer. “Then, no smoke.” The mage nods, “yes, but that doesn’t solve the issue of the smell.” None of us like what he’s saying one bit. There’s shifting in the group as everyone quiets. The archer looks at me, “well?”

“Yeah, he’s right,” I set the meat down and mutter, “damn it.” The whole group groans and goes off to their respective corners to eat their jerky in silence. After a bit, we send out a few scouts. The treasure draws closer to our team and I can’t wait to have my glorious loot and be rid of these assholes. I decide I can buy another team. One that doesn’t know anything about my unfortunate event. My mind wanders back to that beauty and I hope I get to see her again when this is through, in the daylight and not falling out of my room.

 

We’ll stop here for now and I’ll add part two for all of you. I hope that you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read so far. Take care all.

xoxo – Grey ❤

 

 

 

Details for our DnD Online Mini-Campaign Event – Sunday, July 1st

UPDATE

No one can play today so we will be doing the actual campaign on Sunday instead. Today will just be a fun session, no actual campaign with a completed story. Just a fun time DnD super mini-campaign for silliness. Unfortunately, no one could run today so we are going to have to change it to Sunday the 1st. 🙂

Hey guys! We took a vote this past week on what everyone wanted and people voted on an online mini-campaign. I currently have 2 players that have expressed interest in it and would like to play. If you would like to join, please send me a message on Twitter or on Twitch and we can get you all taken care of. I have room for 2 more players.

We will also be interacting with the viewers and putting your fate in their hands during crit fails, or crits on DM. This should keep us all on our toes and make it tons of fun for everyone. :3

– For my players –

  • Please choose any race you would like for 5e. If you want a custom character, please run it by me first. We are running more of a home-brew style since this is super short notice, so don’t feel like you have to know all the rules, this will be more story driven, but we will use 5e system for fighting.
  • Rolls for stats:  roll 4 6-sided die and record the cumulative total of the highest 3 dice 6 times or take the “standard set” which is 15,14,13,12,10,8. Either is fine. 🙂
  • Lore details are below so you can get a feel for the setting. We are in a modern-day setting, with modern tech, however, our society has been thrown back to an age of magic and gods. The elder gods have almost disappeared, replaced by gods of technology. Or so, we have been lead to believe. Please listen to the audio clip before our campaign Sunday so you can properly build your character.
  • We will have a final boss. Be prepared.
  • The viewers will get to vote on what happens if you crit fail a roll (we will use a digital roll system, or use the honor system) or if you crit against my monsters.
  • Create an account here: https://roll20.net/ and Join my campaign: https://app.roll20.net/campaigns/details/3441772/year-zero If you can’t, just send me your email and I will invite you. 🙂
  • Create a fun, short backstory for your characters and send it to me. Even if it’s just a few words, a paragraph, etc. and your god you choose. Choose god from 5th ed, and I will have a surprise for you after you send it. (story wise)
  • We are starting everyone off at lvl 7
  • Please add me on Discord: CAGreyson#8523
  • Send me a DM on Twitter or Twitch if you have any questions. I don’t get on FB much at all.

    Game lore, please listen!

This Month’s Giveaways

Tis the season for free stuff! The rules are listed below each.

  1. The Bag of Necessity. Rules are listed below. Also, something I forgot to list is that it needs to be in the U.S. I would love to send overseas, but the shipping costs would kill me. Thanks, guys!

contesttemplate

 

2. The Bag Formerly Known as Jeff. This is for the weirdos out there that want to be completely surprised by what they get. Including space traveling time pigs. You just never know. 😉

formerlyjeff

3. The Bag of Friar’s Tuck. We all know the legend of Robin Hood and his trusty Friar Tuck. Often depicted as a jovial monk that likes food or ale, or a tall badass swordsman that threw Robin in the river after a battle of wits. This bag includes delectable foods, entertaining tales, and a charity of your choice for me to donate to.

friarstuck

All prizes are based off of information sent to me when you enter. One winner will be chosen for each prize due to funds. Sorry, wish I could give away more. Good luck to everyone!

 

Online Adventure Campaign Event and Details

This week, I am running a strictly online adventure campaign in which all of you will get to vote.

With each day, the story will build solely on everyone’s choices. Remember those old ‘choose your own ending’ type books? It’s like that, but will include images and the occasional video.

Once all the votes are tallied, the next vote will begin. I will then build a story, and draw an image for the campaign.

This is happening all week and you can vote both on my Twitter and FB account to progress the storyline. Voting and story progression will be at 12:00 p.m. CDT daily!

How it works:

  1. Vote
  2. Next day after all votes are collected, a new voting option will appear at noon.
  3. An image of the previous votes will be up sometime between 1 and 2 p.m., with the story attached.

 

This will go on for 1 week and the story will end on Monday, June 19th. 

 

Happy campaigning, everyone.

poop_dragonball

xoxo-

C.A.

DM Guide: How to Enhance Your Players Game

You can watch my Livestream here:

 

Here are my links for everything I cover in the video:

 

Dungeon Map Making

https://sourceforge.net/projects/auto… AutoREALM (free) – This mapping resource is a simple but powerful map-maker, however, the maps it makes are still lovely and versatile!

http://pyromancers.com/dungeon-painte… Dungeon Painter (free) – This one I highly recommend. It is a battle-map maker. It is basically as simple as using Paint.Net, but comes loaded with resources.

Have a map made for you!

http://donjon.bin.sh/ Donjon RPG Tools (free) – This a great character generator, however, there are a mixture of tools for map generating as well.

http://www.gozzys.com/ Gozzy’s Cartographic Emporium (free) – Their multiple-map generators allow for the DM to have a lot more specific details he or she wants in a map.

http://www.mathemagician.net/index.php Mathemagician! (free) – Very user friendly and simple generator, can pretty much instantly populate tiny areas with however many beasties you desire. Great for when your group insists on stopping at that abandoned tower that you just mentioned in passing two minutes ago. -_-

https://play.google.com/store/apps/de… ProD&D (free) – Android app for the Dungeon Master who needs to generate creative dungeons and random terrains at the flick of a finger.

Podcasts:

http://dungeonmasterblock.podbean.com/ Dungeon Masters Block: A podcast that focuses on tips and information for Dungeons Masters, by Dungeon Masters.

Godsfall: https://soundcloud.com/godsfall – 5 Adventures in 5th ed custom campaign setting

DM Minion: https://play.google.com/store/apps/de… A great way to track your party, your NPCs, your monsters, and initiative.

Neat Stuff to add to your campaigns:

Pazio’s Bestiary Boxes: http://paizo.com/products/btpy8tj5?Pa… are an excellent way to have tons of miniatures without straining your wallet.

https://www.onenote.com/ OneNote for notes for DM’s

http://adventurescents.com/front-page… Adventure Scents – Any scent you want made, or design your own scent for your dungeon adventures!

WEBSITES

http://fantasynamegenerators.com/ Fantasy Name Generators: Names for anything – NPCs, towns, your champions of justice, lands – all wonderfully presented.

Myth-Weavers: http://www.myth-weavers.com/ When you don’t want to label every town, here’s your generator.

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/: The community is warm and welcoming; you’ll even find better storylines than you think you can come up with. All beautifully detailed! If you have any questions over the rules at all, post it – you’ll have answers within seconds.

Newbie DM: https://newbiedm.com/ An awesome resource for inexperienced DMs.

Sly Flourish: http://slyflourish.com/ The site has one agenda: building better Dungeon Masters. 🙂

Like what you saw? Suggestions? Add them below!