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What to expect in the coming weeks

It has been a surprisingly busy season. With the release of Hell’s Gate book 2: Resurgence on October 13th so closely together after our first release Hell’s Gate book 1: Awakening, it’s been a bit…crazy to say the least. I am super happy to report that book two is right on track and I can’t wait to release it to all of you. If you aren’t familiar with my work, you can check it out on my YouTube page, or on my tab linked here on my website.

  1. I’m ecstatic to announce that my comics will be picking up again on Tuesdays. I had to take a break with the Hell’s Gate editing phase of book two.  Now that it is over, I can get back to giving you the lawls. Which in all honesty, I love funny. Taking things too seriously is just plain─ awkward to me.

See my audio short Mom’s Diary to get a feel for my less-than-conventional views on life.

My main comic is about my day-to-day life as:

  1. a high-functioning autistic woman living in society
  2. living with an autistic bf and the joys of that

I roll my eyes these days at everyone claiming to be all of these ridiculous things and it seems like people often are ‘riding off the coattails’ of autism and making money. If I had to describe what I’ve experienced, I would say Atypical is pretty accurate.

I get equally annoyed at someone that talks to me like I’m an effing child.

  1. I’m not mentally handicapped─ my perception is different than yours. Please don’t use the ‘I’m talking to a child’ voice with me.
  2. I don’t process emotions instantly or why people get so emotional very well. Know the difference, and don’t be a dick.

Am I hating on the people that actually have gone through this and struggled in life? Hell no. That shit is hard. Especially when someone has to actually pull you aside and tell you why it’s not appropriate to laugh at funerals─ even if someone’s face or crying has made me have to leave the room I am laughing so hard.

Funerals are just…weird. Why do we look at dead people in boxes? How about, if you have to view me after I’ve bitten the big one, you know─ just burn my corpse and throw me outside? I mean, seriously─ I’m dead, wtf do I care?

Have a few beers, talk about the dumb shit I’ve done and then be on your merry way. Mourn at home over pictures or something you weirdos. Don’t stare at my shitty funeral parlor makeup-ed face in front of a bunch of shit heads that are squabbling over my bank account funds. /suddenweirdrant

The point I’m making is that─

 

I’m back, breeches!

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❤ C.A.

 

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Akon 28 and Signing Announcements

Well, it happened─ I am officially signed on as a published creator at Dusk Publishing! I am so beyond excited to be joining this innovative and progressive company.

I signed on with them this past weekend at Collected in Keller in a live event on our facebook page. Meeting everyone that came through was a great joy and seeing all the little ones dressed up in their cosplay was an even bigger treat.

With that being said, let’s get to what to expect this next month as we count the days until Akon 28 arrives. This year is the first year that Akon will have left it’s Dallas home and moved to Fort Worth. I’m excited to see what this will do to its dynamics, as, it has always felt extremely cramped in the hotel spaces at both the Hilton Anatole, and in its earlier years, the Sheraton downtown. (if you’d like to see all the exciting guest this year, check out their guest page!)

So~ What’s in store for the month before our big live event for Akon 28?

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A month of live events building up to it, of course! This month, I’ll be popping up live to talk on my Motoko Kusanagi cosplay,

my graphic novel (set to release in 2018),

Hell’s Gate book 1 releasing Akon week (June 8-11) and book 2 of Hell’s Gate to be released in October of this year!

Plus more news on my audioshorts and books being released to the public.

My podcasts (if you noticed) tend to take time due to my busy schedule, but you can usually expect a few a year that cover Japanese folklore/Myths & Legends/Urban Legends. I’m never shy with the creepy, and it is my favorite thing to create.

Find out what’s in store for all of my audiostories soon! If you are curious, you can go to my main page and see the feed on the right, or go to the podcast link here.

If you want to see my most updated content, I tend to be on Twitter and FB often. I’m getting an outline together for my Youtube page and thinking about Twitch. Though my content is slowly (and painfully) building, I promise there will be more on Youtube soon!

I’ll be posting a live event calendar soon so you guys know when to tune in.

besos, and stay creepy,

─ C.A.

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Why Scary Movies Were Banned in My House

I knew I was different when I was a child. That sounds narcissistic as fuck, but it’s true.

Some years ago (when me and my mother were on speaking terms) I remember describing to her in perfect detail what my baby room looked like. Lot’s of violet and stuffed animals with gauze-y white curtains and white furniture. I remember my favorite stuffed animal was a white seal that I liked to bite on the nose. (It felt good on my gums. :3)

My mother blinked a few times and then, being the religious/superstitious woman she was, suggested that angels must have guided me out of my tiny human body into the spiritual realm, throwing me into an out-of-body experience.

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Whoa. Intense.

But, sadly─ my mom was wrong. Because unlike typical accounts of ‘out-of-body’, I didn’t see myself, or outside of my field of vision from the crib. (not to mention, I think it’s all a bunch of horse dung.)

To my mother’s credit, there is something unnerving about a child that not only corrects everything you say, but also tends to be extremely blunt and appears to lack feelings. This was the 90’s folks, and there was nothing more than just talks about ADD. (attention deficit disorder, now more commonly referred to as ADHD) But, alas, her daughter couldn’t have that, because mostly males were diagnosed with it at the time─ let alone any other possible issues.

And so, I was branded─ the Demon Child.

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Not because I was the spawn of satan, or some- such nonsense, but because I was that man’s daughter.

As you may have guessed, my parents split. Just after I was born, in fact. My mom’s thoughts?

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e.g.: me.

I was tirelessly and incessantly curious about everything─ especially death. When someone explained something to me, the first phrase that inevitably came out was ‘but why do we do it this way?’

I loved watching scary movies, so much that I would sneak out into the living room like a ninja behind our couch to watch ‘adults only’ films.

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Eventually, my mom and step-dad caught on and gave in. And so the three of us (my brother was very young then and slept in a crib) would sit on Friday nights and watch films. I’m sure my parents wanted to watch it in peace─

but I had questions.

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For the longest time, I would ask my parents obsessively about god, heaven, and bad guys. I would listen to the stories in church, but watch movies about the most horrible sides of humanity. My mom displayed both sides equally. So I would get a constant flood of conflicting evidence on human behavior.

And inconclusive data made me upset. Really upset. I liked control and understanding everything.

And so, my tiny villainous brain devised a scheme. Remove the control, and we have a predictable outcome where all other outcomes would cease to screw up my tireless conflicting world views.

Do any of you remember these?

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They were little 2×3 space heaters. Now hilariously illegal.

What happened to cross my mind at the moment, or what force compelled it, I’ll never know. I simply remember at the time, logic dictated that I do it.

And so, I stared at the wall heater. And it at me.

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I wasn’t allowed to touch the heater again.

And my scary movie days? Had to return back to me becoming one with the dark ninja force. At least, until after the coast had cleared.

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Quick update – Today’s Comic Release

Hey guys! This is just a brief update on yesterday and today. Normally, I release a comic every Tuesday. As most of you know, I have a day job like everyone else.

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Which means my days can go from busy to:

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When you run a company, and work a day job (plus adding a kiddo to the mix 2-4 days a week) let’s just say my life is not lacking excitement.

Yesterday was a day of nightmares.

Finally, after trudging home at 10 p.m. (having worked at my job which currently has me as Marketing Director/CSR/Web Designer) I finally was able to try and finish my comic. Then, the realization hit me. I’d left my file at work and forgot to save it on G-Drive.

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Needless to say, (tl;dr) I’ll have it up today.

Check out my poll on twitter today @chrystal_Annecd at noon─

You all get to vote what my next Urban Legend podcast will be over. :3

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Happy thoughts, children. ❤

─ C.A.

2016, I dub thee The Year of The Turd Part 2

OK, I tell myself. Things haven’t gone well this year. I have a roof over my head, let’s switch gears.

My Brain: Remember that career you always wanted as a police officer? Yes? Yes! Let’s do that.

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OPTIMISM!!

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So I worked hard. Harder than anything that I have ever worked at in my entire life. For a solid 8 weeks, I worked out 5 to 6 days a week, ate right, and lifted weights. I studied an hour a day every day.

Test day arrived. I was happier than a dog rolling in cow caca. I couldn’t believe it. After a solid year of failure, trying to get into other police departments, I finally made it past. I scored a 98/100, passed my PT with flying colors, and got all of my long and grueling paperwork completed. For the first time,  I was seeing the stars align.

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I envisioned my future, the difference I could make. The change that I could do in my city and helping others. The pride I would take in getting there and the joy in being a part of the community.

…yeah. What a load of─

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Remember how much I like the honesty train? Yeah. Well, ladies and gents, that was my one-way pass to them showing me the door.

They use something called a polygraph test. (pronounced /dʌm/) Well, folks, I’m not good at lying. And I didn’t want to. Remember that lovely ex? The one I told you about? Well, this girl decided last year to try a certain grown plant for the first time in her life, once. That was it!

That was enough.

It disqualified me for an entire year. Smoking the green, once in my whole life, cost me 2 years of disqualification from the time I smoked it last November 2015, until December 2017. As I find this out, my test score gets sent to me via email. I open it, stare at the nearly perfect score and look blankly at this man that just crushed my dreams. I worked for two months, been trying for over a year, and gave up job searching for a while, riding on the tide of hope that by being honest, it would be the best way.

And so, I thanked him─My entire body shaking, tears threatening to spill and smile as I walk woodenly  from the door.

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Everything deflated and I came home and sat. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe what I had caused. I.could.not.believe. that of all things, I decided to do this on my own, effectively ruining my childhood dream in a few puffs of smoke.

I was lost. More than I ever had been in quite some time. For once, I felt I had found my place in the universe. That everything, all that heartache up until that moment, had been worth the pain. And that’s the thing about Asperger. You can’t process anything emotionally. Why you are crying, why you’re upset, how you are feeling about something─ it’s all just a murky mess. And so, I didn’t show an ounce of my feelings to anyone.

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Often, when a crises occurs, I am the first to jump in and do it. I can remember everything and the smallest details, so I do well at work because I can remember what others have to work hard to. Think of it like a photographic memory, but less like Sherlock Holmes. You can visualize the area, the time, the license plates and everything that you did that day.

One of my weirdest and most favorite past times is memorizing license plates, or reflecting on every detail of an area I’ve been.

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People often mistake us for emotional robots. This is very wrong. It’s not that we are emotionless, but rather, we process more inwardly. We struggle hard with actually putting to words how we feel about a certain situation. If someone were to ask me, ‘how are you feeling about scenario a, b, c’ I would fidget, flush a deep red, and stutter. It takes hours of time to myself to just understand and pick apart what it is my emotions actually are.

And as such, you could imagine what it is like in a household of two people that have autism.

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Enter my life.

My boyfriend has a more severe version of what I do. I can hit a point (usually a few hours later) where I can talk about it and open up. Sometimes, this can take several days. He can’t talk about it at all. Now try to imagine that you have all of these feelings and emotions but feel trapped, constantly disoriented, are a shut-in, and severely depressed. Oh, and did I mention that he’s a Nihilist? He thinks everything and anything is absolutely pointless. Yet, each and every time we talk, I see a small sparkle of hope in him that he still believes there may be some order to the universe.

I’m more agnostic. I see things for what they are, and that things are all coincidental. I’m a huge skeptic, but optimistic in general. I tend to be that annoying co-worker that is giddy and gets excited over dumb things. I’ve had people question me as a genuine person because of how often many things don’t seem to bother me. Yeah, thanks guys. Because I’m not bitching about everything under the sun and generally happy, something is just wrong with me. Well, poop on you too buddy.

What does this have to do with my productivity lately? Um. Everything. Did you read the past two giant paragraphs on my life this year? Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that I still didn’t have a job up until a week ago.

So. Bf doesn’t believe in anything─ check. Freaks out in large crowds─ check. Can’t function at work─check. Believes that he is a burden and mooch─check.

Because I want to respect his family and his privacy, I will not post his name. This next part, took me 72 hours of courage to write. Why? Because it was the lowest point, aside from my childhood (which I’ll get to in a later trauma series), in my life that I have ever experienced.

The love of my life tried to take his own life.

This would have been the second time in my existence I lost someone that meant this much to me by a self-inflicted wound.

At this point, I was working two jobs: One with Uber and one with Amazonflex. Neither of which offers enough money, or time available to take care of two human beings. I was applying to over twenty places a day, trying to find something that would support the two of us so that we could get him and myself on insurance and begin more treatments. But, life had other plans.

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I have finally managed to find work. It pays crap, I do marketing for basically free, and will still have to find a way to freelance and make money─ BUT I have a job. I am able to pay bills, and though we don’t always see eye-to-eye, a boyfriend that cares. We just got two little ratses :3 Alby and Nova. Animals are easier for us to attach to. And so, we fawn over our furry babies, and seek the treatment that we both know he needs. Hurray neurotransmitters! Hurry dopamine and serotonin! Hurray brain thingies! but mostly, hurray rats.

I am convinced at this point that somehow, someway, a past ancestor or my own past life (if such a thing does exist) has fucked up my karma so bad that I am paying for all of their evil deeds combined. Don’t even get me started on my holiday experiences.

xoxo

─ C

Next Podcast and Blog – Japanese vs. Western Mythology and the story of Yuki Onna (the Snow Spirit) and The Snow Queen.

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Hell’s Gate Trilogy

Where did you get your inspiration?

Many moons ago, this lady had a childhood. (Don’t take that tone of thoughts with me, reader, I hear it in your mind words.) For what my mother lacked, she made up with books. Our family loved stories, and my stepfather could spin a tale. I grew up learning about Chinese and Japanese folklore.

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Though I was fond of many, the one that always stuck out in my mind was The Weaver and the Cowherd.

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In book one of the trilogy, Celeste walks the long corridor of Matilda’s home which is filled with intriguing paintings. This section of the story combines the Tale of the Jade Emperor and the 12 signs of the Zodiac as well as The Weaver and the Cowherd.

Similarly, you may have read or heard about the star crossed lovers with the celebration of Tanabata in Japan. The tales are similar, but vary slightly from China to Japan.

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The gist of the tales, is that the Weaver of the stars fell in love with a lowly cowherd boy. Zhinü (or Orihime in the Japanese version) was forbidden by the Jade Emperor (Sky King, or Tentei in Japan) to fall in love with Niulang (Hikoboshi in Japan) and was separated by the Silver River, which represents the Milky Way.

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The only time the lovers are allowed to meet are on the 7th day of the 7th month when a flock of magpies flies down to allow them to rejoin.

I encourage all of you to actually read the tales, they are quite fascinating. But just know that the theme of forbidden love is probably the oldest in human history and still manages to top the charts with sales in the romance section.

On that note, I refuse to write romance. That’s sissy stuff. I easily get annoyed and the eye rolls begin as I’m cringing through most overly-emotional shows or characters. Don’t get me wrong, a little romance never hurts, but when I see people on screen making dumb choices, my aspie self goes bananas. I’ve managed to offend most people with my rants on how Character A should just off Character F because they are a huge risk to the group. Their jaws drop and I get a 5 minute lecture on human compassion. Yes, compassion is fine and good, but senor bleeding heart mc-love machine needs to take a swan dive over the cliff. Love doesn’t cure the badies rounding the corner because some dude is raising a ruckus to save his already-dead gal’s dignity.

 

…um, she doesn’t need that nor can she feel it. She’s dead, lady. She’s dead. /rant.

 

Why am I telling you this? Because I did a little trickses in Hell’s Gate. Besides the hidden meanings and sayings within the passages, I left a bit of an Easter egg in the story. I’m quite fond of superstitions and find them wickedly delicious when playing tricks on others. To top that off, I start the first book in what seems to be a tale of a love-driven main character. By chapter two, the water works end and by the end of the book, we discover a very different side to her love interest. Just you wait until book 2. I’m practically cackling. Next blog? The life that has kicked my arse for the past two years, and up and coming WIP.