The Watchmen – Part VI – The Funeral

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

The service was every bit as horrible as I imagined it would be. Most of the office was there, including the office downstairs. Apparently Zedd was the sort to really reach out to others. At the luncheon people traded stories about just how much of his time and money he had devoted to those in need. It must have killed him, knowing what he did and not able to save anyone else. It just further solidifies the fact that he must have said something to his family. I need to find them, they would definitely be able to shed some light on things. I cross the room, locating Devon near the back by the kitchen. I can’t get over how huge this place is. Imagine if you could the biggest house you’ve ever seen and then double it. I wasn’t even aware they made houses in Wal-Mart size. I approach him slowly, not wanting to scare him away. He is deep in thought, staring out of the large bay windows. He turns when he hears the click of my heels against the tiles. His lips curl into a soft smile. There is definitely more to that smile─ it’s the sort that you give your friends or family when they ask what is wrong. 

I have the strongest urge to wrap Devon into a hug. I find myself more and more curious of how he would feel against me, how he would smell. I have never been in a relationship and up until now I really haven’t thought about it. School and art always took priority over anything else.  After seeing what it does to others and how much it impacts people’s lives, I have run in the opposite direction for years. Devon though, I haven’t noticed a hint of ulterior motive, he is genuine and kind. There had been a few people in college that had shown interest in me but I always shut them down. Not in a mean way, just stated that I did not want anything to do with a relationship. A few of them told me that I could tell them the truth, one even asked if I was a lesbian. Apparently, they had talked amongst themselves and came to the conclusion that since I had not been interested in male partners, I must have liked women. The truth is I have had very little sex drive over the years. It isn’t something that I think about often. I can get urges from time to time but never enough to seek out a partner. It makes my skin crawl thinking about someone touching me. The touching aspect was awful enough, sex mortifies me. I have gotten curious and watched porn a few times. The women never seem to enjoy what is happening. All I can focus on are their faces, there is something about their eyes─ sadness or a longing for love. I cringe at the way men would grope them or shove things into places─ there were no limits to where they did. I rub my arms and hug them to my chest. Given the chance would Devon want to do those things to me? I frown. Even if he is interested, I really get the sense that he would keep it to himself and not allow it to cloud his judgement. For the first time I find myself liking someone. It’s as alien a thought as everything else I’m doing so why do I feel so uncomfortable?

“Hey Kate,” Devon says softly. 

“Hey,” I respond. We sit in comfortable silence for a moment. “I was wondering,” I begin, “If I could maybe talk with Zedd’s family. You know, since I was the last to see him.” His face falls a bit, it’s the first time I can see some real emotion reflected there. He shakes his head, “I’m afraid that’s impossible.” I’m taken back but ask, “what do you mean?” He glances over at the people in the living room and then inches closer to me. He smells like soap, clean and nice. “Zedd lived his life in the system until he was eighteen. As far as either of us knew, he didn’t know where he came from.” My heart speeds up as he leans within inches of my ear. “He had a few clues here and there about his mom but nothing solid. Our family sort of took him in on holidays and events.” At this point, my heart is beating so hard against my chest that I am sure he can hear it. Then he does something unexpected and takes a step back. My shoulders relax and my heartbeat subsides. After several moments I’m back to normal. It is incredibly refreshing to stand next to someone in comfortable silence, it feels natural with Devon. I turn toward him, “I’ve been meaning to ask, did Zedd” I pause a few beats searching for what to say, “say anything odd to you?” His eyes meet mine. It’s the sort of look that strips you bare. “Like what?” he whispers. Those eyes. Those damn eyes. I’m left speechless. My throat dries and my chest grows tight with anxiety. Devon is honing in on my every reaction, trailing from my eyes to my mouth. “You’ve been hiding something from me,” he says, “I can tell. From your first day in the office until now.” My gut reaction is to run. I want to get away as far as possible from him. But, I need answers. Maybe Zedd had mentioned something to Devon that I wasn’t aware of. I shove down my fears. “I have been, but please trust me when I say that I have my reasons.” He raises his eyebrows at me, “If it has to do with Zedd I want to know every single detail,” his voice cracks and he emphasizes the last few words. “You may have your reasons, but I can promise you that you’ll get no judgment from me. Just be honest.” He sighs, takes a few breaths and continues, “please.” I look at the floor, unable to look at his eyes. I manage a small nod. 

“Hey, Devon?” We both look over at the interruption. One of the guys from our meeting is standing in the entry. He looks awkwardly at me and Devon, aware that he probably walked in at the wrong time. “Sorry to interrupt, I uh, think it’s time for your speech and words from friends and family.” “No, no Jason that’s fine,” Devon says, “Sorry, I didn’t realize it was that time already. I’ll be right there.” Jason nods then walks out leaving us both back to where we were before. 

“We should─”

“Can we talk about this later?” he asks, not bothering to let me finish my sentence, “Let me take you out for dinner, somewhere public where you’ll feel safe. Is that OK? I can even meet you there if you would rather travel alone.” I bite my lip, my brow creasing, “alright,” I say after a few moments, “I can do that.” His eyes press together, his face washed in relief, “thank you so much Kate. Just let me know where and what time.” I bob my head and scurry out of the kitchen. I can’t believe my luck, but I can get through this. I shouldn’t care about what Devon thinks of me if it means that I could possibly save him too. I would need a way to explain all of this and I can’t for the life of me figure out how to convey it. He can’t see the letters, he will dismiss a government conspiracy, but somehow I cling to some ill thought-out hope he will listen. I pray Zedd has shared this with him so that maybe if I mention some of the same things, he’ll trust what we are saying. Zedd believed it so much that he ended his life. Surely that must count for something.  

#

 We arrive back at the office around two o’clock. There is still enough time for me to get a little work done, and most importantly keep my mind distracted. I worry that Devon will call me into his office but he never returns. In a way it’s a huge relief─ not that I would mind his company, but he’s so damn persistent and I really don’t want to do that here. Jason walks up to me and explains that he will be temporarily taking over Zedd’s duties until a new manager is in place. We go over a few sketches and then what Zedd had asked of me. Jason is quiet, like me, so after we talk business, he is gone. Thank goodness for small miracles. I look at the 2-D design and then import it into the 3-D modeling program. I pour myself into into creating every single detail. It feels so amazing to be back into a routine that I work until my fingers and back scream in protest. At some point I have managed to tuck one of my legs under me and lost all feeling in it. I stand and stretch, content with my completed workload for the day. Most of the office left several hours ago. I spot a few guys in the back messing around in the motion capture room but they are all that is left. I pull out my phone and glance through it warily. I’m surprised to not find a text but ultimately I decide that it’s best if I get this meeting over with. I sniff my pits and further decide that a shower would be a good idea. Apparently stewing in my own soup had done some not-very-pleasant things to my clothes. 

I grab my wallet, phone, and keys and then turn toward the elevator. I am mid stride when the lights turn off. I immediately freeze in place. I have been so preoccupied with everything today that I’ve forgotten about Them. I hold my breath and wait. There is a yell in the back and I exhale. The guys are still here. OK, good maybe the building has timed lights. Not wanting to press my luck I pick up the pace. No way in hell am I going to give these things a chance to terrorize me. They fucking thrive off of it. 

I yelp as a noise blares from my hand. “Jesus christ,” I swear, flipping my screen around. It’s Devon. Shit. He probably thinks I’m going to bail on him. I glance at the time, it is nearly seven. I answer on the fourth ring. 

“Hey, Devon I’m so sorry I was up at the office and I lost track of time working on this character.”

His voice comes out awful, it sounds like he’s been crying, “Oh, that’s OK. I just wanted to check in with you. Did you want me to pick you up or would you rather meet somewhere?” He sniffs a few times and clears his throat. The guys emerge from the back, shoving each other as they walk toward the elevator. “Hey Kate” one of them say. I nod and wave as they shuffle through. “You coming down?” I shake my head mouthing, “no you go ahead, thanks.” He mouths “OK” and in seconds they’re gone. Leaving me to the quiet, dark office and Devon. “Uh, yeah you can pick me up from my place if you want. Just, you know, give me a chance to get the day washed off.” 

“OK, great. Just decide what you want, anything is fine, my treat.” Please don’t make me decide, I plea silently. “Oh, whatever is fine by me,” I offer quickly. He pauses on the line, “how about sushi or Thai?” I bite my lip, noodles sound pretty great right now. Something warm, comforting, and starchy. “Thai sounds great,” I say. “Alright, I’ll pick you up about eight?” “That works,” I reply. We say our goodbyes and hang up. I frown at the slow moving elevator and press the down arrow button. Why did we have to be on such a high floor? I see that they finally make it to the bottom, silently willing it to go faster. A computer restarts in the back and I hear the beep as it resets. The room groans and pops as the wind hits the side of the building. Every click, every pop is amplified by the insufferable quiet. 

Floor seven, 

Floor eight,

Floor nine. 

Come on, I urge silently, just six more floors. 

Floor eleven, 

Floor twelve,

Floor thirteen.

The computer does a start up jingle in the background. I refuse to turn around.Not today, Satan” I mutter. 

Floor fourteen.

The ding goes off as it reaches the fifteenth floor and I squeeze my eyes shut and sigh. Finally, it’s here. The door swooshes and I open my eyes. I stare for several seconds, the color draining from my face. I don’t want to believe what I’m seeing. My hand goes up to my face and I clamp them around my mouth. No, no, no, is all that can run through my mind. I stagger back a few steps, distancing myself from the horrific image. Jesus, there’s so much blood. I close my eyes, take a breath, and then open them. He’s still there and so is the pulpy mass. 

The glassy stare of Zedd’s eyes stare at me accusingly. The back of his head is missing─ there’s blood and brain matter everywhere. The gun lays on the floor next to him cradled in his limp hand. This isn’t real, it can’t be because we buried him this afternoon. I frantically search the room, trying to remember where the emergency stairs are located. I scream as his body jumps and twitches in a seizure-like motion. Zedd grunts and his head jerks toward my scream. His bones snap and pop as he rises from the floor. A few meaty chunks of brain matter slide to the floor, making a sickening splat when they hit. Oh god. I retch several times, trying but failing to reassure myself it isn’t real. He limps toward me as a gurgling sound escapes his lips. I bolt to the left and pump my legs as fast as they will carry me.  I don’t know where the staircase is but I don’t care. I am not about to sit here and let him get close to me, I know it has to be back here somewhere. I flee past several dark offices, glancing behind me every so often. There is no sign of him. I’m all the way at the end of the u-shaped hall when I realize my terrible mistake. If I had just ran to the right I would have found them. Fuck it. 
I charge around the corner and scream as I run into something solid and fleshy. I lash out, shoving hard and screaming. “Whoa, whoa, Kate,” Devon yells. My head throbs from the adrenaline as my heart comes back down from near cardiac arrest. My legs give out and I fall forward on my hands and knees.

The Watchmen Part IV – A Horror Novella

I stand outside for a moment and watch as the cars pass by. Everything moves so much slower here than it does in Dallas. No one seems to be in a rush, or cutting each other off. It really is beautiful and even from here I can make out the mountains in the distance. I will be going back to my place tomorrow. I still have to figure out what I will say to my parents─ what I can possibly say to anyone. Devon’s smile flashes in my mind. I find myself wondering if he will smile at me like that again after my live stream. I think given time, I would have liked to get to know him better. I’m not sure in what way, but I know that I enjoy his company. I certainly don’t want him to die the way everyone did in my visions. No one deserves that. I trudge into my room, set my keycard on the nightstand, and then drop my bag on the floor. Whether I want to or not, I am going to the funeral tomorrow. Not just to show my support to the company, but to talk with a Devon. Maybe Zedd spoke to someone before he passed away or he had confided in someone from our department. I’m not sure of the dynamic between him and his team, but I know that he and Devon seemed comfortable talking to one another. I can worry about that tomorrow. 

I pick up my phone and check my messages. Mom has sent me a link to a pie recipe she found and asks if I would like her to make it this year. Leave it to mom to ask something like that a solid three weeks before Thanksgiving. She has always been that way, about as anxious as they come to getting everything in order. Last year she had managed to cook a full traditional Thanksgiving meal and a full vegan one for her sister. Aunt Marie is obsessed over a few things─ her fine wrinkles, the little bit of weight around her tummy, and the horrible meat industry and how they all lobby together to get the public to buy into meat and animal products. I will get a link to a documentary at least a few times a year. Everyone has an agenda she would say. Though, admittedly she probably isn’t wrong about the lobbying. I’m sure it happens in just about every industry. I admire her for it none-the-less, I certainly can’t do it. I tried being a vegetarian for a while and promptly lost my shit. Even my mom had broken her no cursing rule and told me to stop being such a bitch. I still laugh at that from time to time. My mom, miss prim and proper cursing me out and shoving bacon in my face. I guess we all have our limits and I apparently am a real asshole when I don’t eat meat. I open up my work emails and skim through. There are a few messages from corporate about Zedd and a personal email from Devon. It is titled ‘I’m sorry for all of this.’ I immediately open it. 

Hey Kate,

I just wanted to say again that I am so sorry your first week happened this way. Zedd was a good friend of mine and to say that I am in total shock is a bit of an understatement. I hope that this hasn’t changed your mind about working for us in any way. I hope to have you on our team for quite some time. I’ll see you in the office tomorrow, we’re all going to work half a day and then attend the service. You are more than welcome to join us or head home. You won’t be judged either way. 

Take care, 

Devon  

I reread it and then hit reply. 

Devon,

I want you to know that I plan on staying with the company for a long time. In no way is this anyone’s fault and I would never hold you or the company accountable for someone else’s actions. I’m sure that Zedd had a reason for all of this even if we couldn’t understand them. I lost a good friend of mine this way in high school. Just focus on the good times and the time you shared together. I’ll see you tomorrow at the office. 

Yours,

Kate

I am surprised to find a bit of wetness gathering in my eyes. This stirs memories of my friend James. It would have been eight years ago now. In some ways, he reminds me of Zedd─ quick witted, shy, but very vocal when he was passionate about something. Why is it that some of the best people in the world take their own life? This thought seems to depress me more over the years. I remember taking several psychology courses talking about how some of the most brilliant minds struggled daily with depression. I can believe it. Seeing the world as it really is has to have its downfalls. 

I sigh heavily on the bed and then shove my feet into the shoes on the floor. I just want to be done with all of this. It’s killing me knowing that there is nothing that I can do. I’m done with it all, especially feelings. I have a few hours before I head back to Dallas. We are expected to be in tomorrow morning, so I will have to get back to my place in time to shower and dress. I am not sure if I have something appropriate to wear to a funeral. Most of my clothes are very casual and the few dresses I own are sun dresses. I can’t exactly show up in a flowery sundress to a co-worker’s funeral─ jeans just seem disrespectful. After a little bit of searching, I find an online delivery service that will pick up something from a nearby store and deliver it tonight. I quickly browse through some dresses and pantsuits before deciding on a loose pair of slacks and a blouse. Thankfully I have a pair of decent black flats at home just for this sort of occasion. Now I know why my parents had told me to always have a pair of black dress shoes. 

I sigh, browsing through the T.V. It has been a long time since I’ve been to a funeral. The last one had been my Nana Genny’s. I remember it being a very cold day. It was the sort that makes you shiver no matter how many layers of clothing you had on. I was still in my teens, old enough to understand death, but still too immature to understand. It hadn’t really hit until grandpa Jay had started dating again. When he remarried, mom stopped talking with him. I’m not sure why she did, after all he was only human. I never hated him for it, he had been with nana for over forty years. It must have been hard to be with someone for so long and then suddenly they are gone. I don’t think I would want to be alone either. I still call him from time to time to check in and see how he is doing. Grandpa Jay had hoped someday mom would come around. I do too. A chill runs along my arms and up through my head. I wonder if maybe I am getting sick from all the stress. I am not sick often, but when I do it normally takes me out for a few days. I had the flu once as a child and I’ll never forget it. It is probably why I get my shot every year and wash my hands like it is some sort of religion. The kids always poked fun of me for it, but guess who never gets sick? Let them laugh, cleanliness always wins and I am the proof. 

After wasting some time browsing my phone and trying again for the hundredth time to find these mysterious Watchmen, I decide that a trip to the sauna sounds better. I am pleased to find when I arrive that there is only a family in the pool and an older man in the hot tub. The sauna is people-free. I slip my shoes off and walk into the steamy bliss. The length of my body stretches out on the bench and I wiggle my toes. It feels amazing. The heat stings my lungs a little but I don’t mind. I just want this chill to melt from my bones. I only remember feeling this way once, and it had been the flu. Hopefully I’m not getting sick. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, only focusing on my breath drawing in and then out. I imagine that I am floating in my own ship in the middle of space, staring at the small particles floating by. The sun heats my back as I face out toward the galaxy. Jupiter looms nearby, huge and deadly─ but beautiful. I am mesmerized by the swirling multicolored gas. I bathe in the warm glow of the sun as it kisses my bare skin. I am completely alone. This has been a form of meditation for years. The thought of being completely isolated and floating through space comforts me. I think it would have the opposite effect for most people. To me, it is heaven. Lately I find myself wanting to be alone more and more. I could live by myself with my computer and art. Art has been a way of life for me for as long as I can remember. I would love to sit outside and draw everything I saw, especially people. I have brought my sketchbook along for this very reason. It’s probably time to do something that calms my nerves before the funeral. I also will need to present something at work. We have weekends off but I never stop drawing. It brings me joy to paint and draw more than anything in this world.

I take several long breaths. Don’t think about that now, I say to myself, think about the warmth. I focus on the heat and my breath. Suddenly, my mind wanders to the first night I had experienced this─ the first night that I had experienced Them. Despite the terrifying sensation of another being thriving off of my pain, I am curious about what They are. Their black hoods flash in my mind and I can see nothing but blackness behind them. Their long, thin bodies would disappear into a sort of translucent grey haze. They never move and stand perfectly still. Deathly still. The beings never say anything, they don’t need to. You can just sense them. Sort of like when you were a child and try to sneak up on your parents. No matter how quiet you thought you were being, they would turn around and shout, ‘boo!’ scaring you instead. Only, these things were dense. They press in upon you until you cannot breathe. Your breath becomes shallow, and your chest feels as though you can be crushed alive at any moment. Your heart feels like it is being torn from your chest. And then comes the cloying, damp air as they invade our plane of existence. They stand there merely existing when they shouldn’t. These awful, horrible creatures shouldn’t be allowed to. And yet I feel as if I can get used to that if it were something as simple as being uncomfortable. Nothing compares to the sensation of death after gruesome death. If this is as bad as my visions, I would lay there and suffer until they decide to release me. Death isn’t what scares me, living does. Please let it take me out in a blast of fiery glory. It will be a welcome end to my suffering. 

There is a thought that is beginning to sprout with each passing day. Little by little, I water it and entertain the idea. Zedd was right to do what he did, and I think that I will follow suit. Whatever these creatures are, they aren’t going to stop. I just know that I will die as slowly as possible. Besides, even if I can stock up and get the hell out of dodge, what then? It won’t save me from the fallout. The odds of me finding someone with an underground bunker that’s willing to share is slim to none. There has to be a few of them out there, right? That won’t save the human race. Because in the blink of an eye, entire cities will be wiped out. There will be a lull as the survivors try to seek shelter or help, but by then the radiation sickness will start─ and then black rain. The bombs will take people out in the city right away but the ones just outside of it will suffer this horror in tenfold. People like my parents, people’s families. Even if a decent size population somehow makes it, the hospitals won’t be able to keep up. It will take decades to recover from it. I sigh and my eyes open. I stare at the wooden ceiling above me. I want to be helpful. I want to be one of those people that decide that no matter what, humanity can prevail and I can save them. The truth is, no matter how hard I try or what I say, I have zero proof. And proof is all that matters. If it were me listening to someone say that the world would end, I would laugh and roll my eyes and then move on. It shouldn’t matter to me, but it does. It’s frustrating, and maybe we were both crazy but it doesn’t stop me from getting my feelings hurt. Humans are weird, emotional beings and sometimes I hate being in my own skin. All I can do is try and warn them all and then I can leave with a clean conscience. As dumb as this idea is, I will make it my mission for the next five days to do what I can. I don’t want to live in this kind of world but I can help everyone else that will be stuck in it. 

The Watchmen – Part II – A Horror Novella

Part I

Nine days. 

I stare up at the ceiling in my room, completely lost in thought. Just to be sure, I had even asked Zedd what his dreams looked like. He had described in vivid detail my worst fears: his suffering is identical to mine. There is a small part of me that hopes these monsters just showed us our worst fears─ That maybe they are some sort of creature that feeds off of fear and pain. The more he shared with me, the more I wanted him to stop talking. I roll over on my side and frown at the poem on my nightstand. The nine seems more bold than usual. 

There really is no escape.

His words echo in my mind. If that is true, there will be no reason for me to continue any of this. My entire existence is pointless. I want to cry but nothing comes out. I want to scream at the top of my lungs and never stop screaming. It aches to be in my own skin and I am angry that I will be among the few people that knows what will happen. Worse still, I know that there is nothing I can do about it. Even if I do try and call someone or reach out to people─ no one will believe me. If someone mentioned this to me a few days ago I wouldn’t have believed them. I would have thought they were some conspiracy theorist nutcase. Unless─ I sit up and check my phone. It is early, but Devon normally gets in about eight or eight thirty. I might be able to chat with him for a while. I have an idea, but I am not going to mention anything until I am sure. I dress as quickly as I can and hop on the first train. 

#

“Kate, hey” Devon says smiling, “what brings you in so early?” I am surprised to find him already there when I walk in at seven forty-five. I smile nervously at him, checking my pocket for the hundredth time to make sure the piece of paper is still there. I relax as I feel it crumple against my hand. “Hey Devon,” I say, “I sketched this out last night and thought you might want to take a look at it.” He raises an eyebrow, “Oh yeah? Sticking to those old-school guns, I like it. Let’s take a look.” I try to steady my hand as I reach into my pocket. I unfold the paper and see more hooded figures have appeared. The skyline looks clearer and I can make out shapes and finer details of the buildings. The hooded figures wait outside of the city, staring at the buildings.  

“Kate?” 

My legs move and I walk over to his desk. I pass the paper over to him and then back away to gauge his reaction. His hand had briefly touched mine and I am suddenly very aware that I haven’t showered this morning. I must look an absolute mess. I fidget with my hair and tug down at my shirt. He is quiet for a few moments and then furrows his brow. “I don’t get it.” His face breaks into a wide grin, “Did one of the guys set you up to this?” He chuckles and hands the paper back to me. “ Is it some secret code that I have to pour milk or lemon juice on it? Maybe wave it over the stove?” he waves his hands around. “Already messing with the boss, huh?” I smile at his words but at this very moment I die a little inside. Why can Zedd and I see it, but Devon cannot?

It must seem awkward for me to walk in here like this and not have a come back, so I force a chuckle of my own, “You got me.” I want it to sound casual but it ends up sounding even more awkward. It hangs in the air and stagnates. I clear my throat and turn to leave. “Hey, Kate?” His voice sounds off. I turn back to him from the doorway. “Take care of yourself, this job can get really stressful.” My face burns but I manage a lame, “oh totally, no worries.” I spin around, nearly plow into the wall, and shuffle my way out. Great, the end of the world comes and I still manage to make a complete and total ass of myself. I guess some things will never change. 

#

I still feel slightly bitter about my love life but I’ve managed to knock out a ton of stuff for my main character. I have rationalized that if nothing else, this gives me something to do. It’s pointless, the game will never release. I don’t even know what time the bomb will drop. But hey, at least I know the day. 

It makes me wonder if it is just going to happen here, or all over. Maybe the beings will only show what will directly affect us. This gives me an idea. It’s my first week, but considering I’ll only have just over a week left to live, I figure fuck it─ road trip time. I finish up my tasks for the day with a couple of hours to spare. Zedd has been oddly quiet today, in fact, I haven’t seen him. It is possible that he decided to work night shift. Most of us hate that schedule, but there is a team that works from four until midnight. Even if he never shows up to work again, it’s not like I can blame him. I mean, it’s one thing if it is only you hallucinating, but to have someone else confirm your worst fear? That’s true terror. I am hoping to talk with him a bit more today. The way we left things last night makes me feel lost. I feel more helpless now than I ever have in my life. I am desperate to think that we can find a way out of this, maybe some hope still exists. I managed to wake up feeling a little better today, but carrying this sort of knowledge weighs you down. I shoot him a text just to check in on him and then head to Devon’s office. 

I tap lightly on the door. There are a few murmurs on the other side and finally I hear, “come in.” I peek my head around the door and smile. “Hey, there’s my favorite gal. I just got your completed works for the day. Careful─ you’re making the other guys look bad.” He winks conspiratorially at me and grins. I laugh and shake my head, “Oh, that can’t be true. I’ve seen their work.” He types a few things on his computer and then turns his full attention to me. “What can I do for you, ma’am?”     

I smile at the southern drawl. I notice that people here tend to address each other as sir or ma’am but it isn’t in a professional way, it is polite and respectful. I am still getting used to their drawn out words and pronunciations. It took me ages to figure out the guys were saying pen instead of pin, which they pronounced as ‘pin’.

“I’m so sorry to ask this, but I’ve had a family emergency come up. Is there any way that I can work remotely and maybe take half a day off to drive up there?” His face suddenly grows serious. “Oh, Kate. I’m sorry to hear that, is everyone OK?” I shake my head feeling guilty over the lie. “No, no, nothing serious. My dad is out of town and my mom broke her leg. She just needed me to help out at the house until dad gets back Friday.” 

“No problem at all. Honestly, just go ahead and take tomorrow off and you can work a half day Friday, how’s that sound?” I’m shocked at how understanding he is. 

I’m slightly disturbed at how easy the lie spills from me. I will have to work that out with myself later. One thing at a time. “Oh, and Kate?”

“Hmm?” I respond. “Zedd is not feeling well, but he’ll be in tomorrow. I’m loving the direction you two have come up with.” I thank him and quickly make my exit. This is a weird day, but it isn’t entirely bad. I feel accomplished, which is a bit weird given the circumstances. Perhaps I am taking this a bit too well. 

 #

I stare out the bus windows for the hundredth time. I’m not sure what I’m expecting to see, but the tree lined roads are finally giving way to mountains. It’s something to stare at as I listen to my audio-books. I know going too far would be silly and if I go back home, I feel like I will get the same result. With this in mind, I decide to go to New Mexico. It is twelve hours from Dallas but it is far enough away from Dallas that it will help prove my theory.  It is better than sitting at home and sulking. My eyelids grow heavy as we get to the last hour or so. This state is huge. I can’t believe how long it takes to get across. I probably could have gone to Louisiana or Oklahoma, but I figured if I was going to go somewhere it was at least going to be pretty. The constant drone of the audio-book’s narrator didn’t help and before I know it, I am out. I blink a few times and realize that I am staring from the familiar building. This time, the entire floor is filled with everyone at the office. Devon walks past and flashes his winning grin, his warm brown eyes crinkle around the edges. I shyly smile back and then start walking toward my desk. Usually the things have appeared by now, but instead it seems like a typical day. 

I glance around, curious about where this dream is going. I am vaguely aware of movements at each cubicle as I pass by. People are glued to their monitors, the little clicks of the mice are the only sounds cutting through the silence. At any moment I expect the terror to unfold and then I will look down to stare at my insides. I will sit helplessly as the blast blows me apart. Worst of all, I will feel every agonizing second of it. I squeeze my eyes closed, willing myself to wake up. Please, I silently beg, I don’t want to go through it again. Don’t make me go through this again. The second I close my eyes I feel it. The office shifts and then trembles violently. Seconds later, the screams begin. My eyes fly open and once again I am faced with the tall, spiraling cloud that mushrooms and expands. There is a pause as everyone stands in awe, staring up at the impending doom. Within seconds the wave hurtles toward us and then slams into the building with a crushing blow. 

God no. 

The glass shatters and then embeds itself in my skin. The flesh melts from my face as the wind rips at my body. Adrenaline will not kick in, I can feel everything. People drop like flies around me, their screams eventually replaced with wet gargles. I gasp for air as my lungs fill with blood. My one good eye watches as the earth tilts until finally I make contact with the floor. It’s all that I can do. My body aches and my nerves are on fire but finally it subsides into a dull throbbing. It’s as if my body has accepted this horror. Like the visions before I just won’t die. This should be the part of the dream that you wake up covered in sweat and screaming. My entire life I have had the luxury of just that. Especially if it is one of those falling dreams. Not only can I feel every moment of this living hell,  I can taste it. The ash, the blood, and the chemicals. The building groans in the wake of the damage. It sways and then lets out a low, haunting moan. It reminds me of the recordings of wales I had listened to as a child. Yet more industrial as the building begins to collapse in on itself. As we all fall, They appear. I try and close my one good eye but to my horror, I realize that my eyelids are gone. The debris lands on my exposed eye, light as newly fallen snow. I instinctively try to blink but in the end all I can do is stare at the chaos. The burning has become so intense against my exposed flesh that I am sure I am dying. And yet, I can not die.

I can not fucking die.

They close in and sigh in ecstasy as they pluck my suffering from my flesh and my mind. It’s as if I am the last morsel of succulent meat. They feed on the others in mere seconds, but me, god fucking help me─ they are having a four course meal. I try any way I can to die faster. I try biting my tongue, but there isn’t enough of it left. I try in vain to move either of my arms, but too much of the muscle lays piled on the floor. I am stuck here, being consumed piece by piece─ layer by agonizing layer. 

#

 

Finally I wake up screaming my lungs out. I hear a man curse in the seat in front of me and the driver comes to a screeching halt. I run my hands over my face and then my body as I search everywhere. I relax as I find that everything is in its place. I drink in the air, so much clean, fresh air─ thank god. 

I sit back in my seat and let out a sigh. “Hey,” I jump at the shout from the driver, “everything OK back there?” I peer around the row of seats and shrink into my seat at all the confused faces of the passengers. I clear my throat, “um, yeah sorry,” and then I add “I have night terrors.” The entire bus groans and people mutter, throwing angry looks my way. Sorry, I mouth at them. My face is on fire.  I scoot closer toward the window, hoping that no one can see me. I draw my legs up to my chest. 

Whatever that was, it isn’t a dream. I’m not sure what it is that keeps these monsters feasting on me. I have this sinking feeling that They are the reason I have been kept alive. I shudder running my hands along the length of my legs. Maybe spreading some warmth through them will ease the chill. The air on the bus has grown colder, we must be in the mountains. A quick glance outside confirms it as we chug along uphill. My thoughts turn dark as I stare out across the misty mountains. I had been able to sleep OK last night but what if the dream returns? What if I can never close my eyes again?

#

The hotel is nothing fancy, but it is cozy. After speaking with the front counter I get my room key and I am all set. I walk down a few hallways until I find the first set of double doors. The man at the front desk has described it well. To my delight it opens into a large pool area. It is all enclosed and there is even a hot tub. I’m glad that I have decided to pack my bathing suit. I had been hoping the place has a sauna or something I can relax in. My mood gets even better when I see in fact that they do have a sauna. At least there is something to look forward to tonight. After I get in my room, I set up my work laptop and plug in my phone to charge. The signal here is awful and my battery is already at forty percent. I check my messages and email. Devon sent me one about an hour ago. It is just to check in and make sure that I have made it to my parents. I send him a response that I am fine and I will be able to work tomorrow afternoon. I add that he is welcome to call or text for any emergencies and then send it out. 

I am surprised to find that I feel energized. Despite the dream, it has somehow refreshed me. I glance over the room service menu and then check out some of the local restaurants. I am famished. There’s a small pizza shop that has great reviews and I place my order. In less than thirty minutes it is sitting on the dresser. I have a scary movie playing in the background as I lay the cheesy goodness on the bed. You would think since my own life is the stuff of nightmares, I wouldn’t want anything to do with them. But it’s somehow comforting to watch someone else go through hell instead of me. I’ve seen just about every horror movie made, even the campy ones from out of the 80’s. The boogeyman always fascinated me because they never died. I love Halloween, Michael Myers just keeps coming back. Ironic, given that my own hell in these visions parallel that. Maybe he is just pissed off that he can’t die and takes it out on others. Suddenly, I have a soft spot for the guy. I would never wish this on anyone, but I can at least imagine other people’s struggles, right? I devour three pieces before I finally slow down. I can without a doubt eat this entire pizza, and still I would want more. But after the sixth slice, it seems to do the trick. I sigh and pat my belly. I’m hoping I find that the images change, but so far I have checked and it hasn’t. 

I’m not sure what I am expecting, but the hope remains that maybe spending a night in another state will change the paper. If it does then the entities must prey off of fear and also solidifies that this will happen everywhere. Maybe I am witnessing the end of everything. Surely we can travel miles out of the major cities and be safe right? Isn’t that what someone sending a bomb would do? Target all of the major cities? I remember learning in one of my science classes that if several bombs went off it would affect the entire planet and that eventually the fallout will kill us off. Radiation poisoning is no joke. We would not only die, we would die horribly. There really isn’t a bright side to this, no matter the scenario. 

#

I finish the movie and then walk over to the closet. I’m ready for a good, long soak in the hot tub. The chill in the air here is definitely different than Dallas. Even with the heater on, there is a distinct chill in the air. I select a crisp, white robe and smile. This place may have been old, but it is still full service. You would never find things like this in a cheap hotel. Definitely not one that I can afford. I slip it over my bathing suit, grab my key card, and walk down the hall. 

A few doors down I can hear someone’s T.V. blaring. It’s loud as hell, the person watching it must be deaf. It reminds me of my grandfather’s westerns blaring at full volume in the living room. I’m pretty sure I heard a horse whinny. At least I know that I’m not alone. I walk into the pool room, hang up the robe and slip into the tub. I am in heaven as the heat sinks into my skin. If the end of the world really is happening in eight days, this is a great way to spend my time. It is perfectly quiet─ just me and the warmth. 

My body sags as the weight of the world melts away. My eyes close and I rest my head against the cool concrete. Seconds after I close my eyes, there is a thunderous boom. I jump, whipping my head around. The sound reverberates around the enclosed space, but nothing is here. Both of the doors are sealed tight. My lower lip trembles as the water trickles down my face. That boom, I know it anywhere. I have it etched into my memory. I expect at any moment the room will collapse around me. I imagine the burning blast of air that rips away my insides. 

Stop it, I tell myself, just stop. There is nothing here, you’re just tired. I try to rationalize it. Maybe it is my neighbor’s T.V. Or maybe, I think, every time you close your eyes you’ll relive your own death again and again. My blood runs cold at the thought. How long can I last? One day─ two? I shudder despite the burning temperatures of the water. Suddenly, the sauna doesn’t sound so good.  

#

It is around three a.m. when I get the call. When I had gotten back to my room earlier I ordered as many caffeinated drinks as I could. After two monsters and several diet cokes, I am fairly certain that I can taste colors. I keep action movies going in the background and play games on the laptop. I figure as long as I am doing something I can’t fall asleep. I am in the zone blasting away at bad guys when my phone goes off. I pause and look at my phone, it’s Devon. Confused I answer immediately. 

“Hello?” 

There is a pause on the line, followed by a few sniffles. I decide that maybe he has butt dialed me but I talk into the phone anyway. “Hello? Devon?” 

“Hey, Kate. Yes, I’m here.” His voice sounds shaky as if he has been crying. I am instantly alarmed. 

“Hey, is everything OK?” I ask. There are a few more sniffles. “Kate, I’m so sorry to be calling this late, but I thought it would be better to hear it from me than the news.” 

“OK.” I answer. My heart is hammering in my chest, I don’t know what to expect. 

“This is really hard to tell you, especially since it’s your first week. I’ll be making an announcement on Friday, but I’ve also been making calls to all the team members.” He sniffs again. “I’m sorry to have to let you know that Zedd will no longer be coming into the office.” My hands won’t stop shaking. I had just seen him less than two days ago. “Did he quit? Is he OK?” I ask softly. 

There is a long pause on the other end. I think that maybe he has hung up, but then finally he answers. “Zedd─” Devon’s voice falters and he has to take a couple of breaths before continuing, “took his own life earlier today. I’m so sorry, Kate, but I have to go. We are closing the office down tomorrow, so don’t worry about work, OK?” I thank him for letting me know and hang up the phone. 

Part III coming soon.

❤ Grey

Haunting Hour Podcasts Starting Back Up!

Hey guys! It’s been a bit and a long emotional journey but finally I have found a place to live. I am so very lucky to be able and record in my own room which is so foreign to me that I was in shell shock for two days just staring at the beauty. My own room for art, and recording. While I have a long time ahead to be able and replace all of my things, I am grateful that I have been able to replace my microphone.

For those of you left in the dark, I was caught in the floods in Dallas and my home was completely destroyed. I had to live in hotels until this week and finally am able to get back to a normal life.

I’ve been trying to decide when the big day will be that I can finally start releasing more episodes and believe that I can start on either the first or second week of October. Just in time for the spookiness! Needless to say that I am ecstatic for my favorite time of year to begin. While most of my holiday décor was destroyed, I can at least carve pumpkins and maybe string up festive garland. Oh and movies. Lots and lots of creepy movies. This time of year is just the best and I love it!

Of course as most of you know, I’m not one to keep up with social media and I’m a bit of a hermit but I do so love to write and make podcasts for all of you. Know that your dark story mistress is back babyyyy and we’re all about to get our spooky on again.

  • xoxo Grey

All of us like to be spooked…just a little.

What is it about the supernatural that really draws you in, that gets your blood pumping and chills running down your spine? Maybe it’s the boogey man─ the cold, cool surface of a mirror with a sinister entity waiting for you to close your eyes. Or possibly the killer hiding beneath your bed, waiting patiently outside of your home, or up in the attic watching through the ceiling vents.

Many people to this day believe in ghosts, or demons. Some swear that there are creatures living beyond our realm or in parallel universes. Whatever your personal fear may be, it’s fun to just imagine a world beyond the norm. Even if it does terrify you, there is a small part of your brain that hopes something else exists. Be truthful with yourself for a moment─ isn’t it dull to think that we are are all completely alone?

Since I was a child my family would sit and watch scary movies. My mother especially liked the thought of angels, spirits, aliens, or ghosts. She would talk about seeing what she was convinced were aliens flying in the sky or that alien abductions were real. I can confidently say that it was an interesting childhood if nothing else.

If none of us really liked the fear of the unknown or being scared until we borderline shit our pants, places like haunted houses wouldn’t exist. Know someone that doesn’t like scary movies? That is a fear within itself, knowing that if we watch something like that we wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. So, fear of being afraid─ hmm. Phobophobia, anyone?

The meaning behind fear attached as an emotion didn’t come about until around the 1300’s. In old English færan─ to terrify or frighten, or fær─ sudden danger, peril, or sudden attack. Which is why it makes sense to classify it as an emotion. Several hundred years later (around 620 years to be exact!) American physiologist Walter Cannon found that fear triggers an emotional response in the amygdala, firing a chain of chemical events that readies the body for a fight, or flight response. I never had that theory put to the test on me until the age of ten. My best friend at the time and me were playing outside, going up and down alleys with our bikes. There were an older group of boys well known by the neighborhood kids as the local assholes. (We found it out quickly when a game of hide-and-seek turned into them charging and tackling younger, weaker kids.) Thankfully, they tended to to pick on girls a little less─ albeit the occasional bloody nose or skinned elbows and knees.

One day, we’ll call him Mr. Quackers, Mr. Quackers decided that because I never cried or responded to his bullshit (for whatever reason unknown to me, I was one of the lucky few that only got called names) got a wild hair up his ass to try and attack me. I still have no clue what happened to that kid or why he was so psychotic, but needless to say he was fully committed (bless his heart) to putting the fear of god in me and my friend. Whether it was to scare us, or actually harm us, we’ll never know because my next series of actions even surprised me. His face contorted from a combination of manic glee and anger to confusion as I crouched, squared my shoulders, and charged back toward him. Either I got stupid lucky or he got caught off-balance, but he flipped over my left shoulder and landed hard on his back.

Something snapped, and some might say that my fury grew three times that day.

The Grinch

I’ve always had a protective side─ you mess with me, it’s whatever. Sure, it hurt and at times dug pretty deep, but seeing my friends or someone else getting picked on stirred the beast. I straddled him and went right for the face, throwing as many punches as the other kids allowed. I’m sure they didn’t really hurt that bad (considering I was all of ten years old and he was nearly fourteen) and I’m sure I didn’t know what I was doing or how to punch that well, but the point had been made. I don’t know it if was one of his friends or mine, but a few kids grabbed me roughly by the shoulders and drug me away kicking and screaming. Imagine a very angry bobcat, flurries of hissing, spitting, and yelling as I attempted to claw my way back to my prey.

Even though he had managed to scare me, I learned something about myself that day. Your body just sort of reacts, there is no thought. The strange part was even though I had been afraid, I felt alive afterward. Like that fear and adrenaline left me with a sense of euphoria. I later would learn in high school that phenomenon is endorphins released from the brain to make you feel better. Similar to what chocolate does. That’s where we circle back to that fear-inducing spark that leaves us all feeling like we’ve barely escaped our doom─ and damn, does it feel good. That’s where I think all of this may stem from, the relief of being alive.

But getting back to my earlier point, we enjoy being scared because of that chemical reward. Also? Who doesn’t like to feel like we’re special and some nefarious entity has singled us out.

We all have that one story (or a story that’s been passed on through our family) we can’t explain─ maybe it’s noises in the dark, or lights coming on when they shouldn’t. What was that looking down from the window of the old abandoned Blackwood home? You know the one where everyone died a horrible death. Even if these aren’t something you can relate to, why do we go a little faster down dark hallways or a small spike of panic as we move through the dark to the bathroom? There is no logic to it and we rationalize with ourselves that nothing is there─ but it never actually works, does it?

Because the fact remains that all of us, just a little bit, like to feel that prickly sensation and wonder─ am I really alone?

Short Horror Movie Will Make You Sleep With The Lights On, Forever | Creepy  gif, Scary gif, Creepy

Well, my lovelies─ what do you think?

Pleasant dreams,

❤ Grey