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Why I’m no longer on Twitch and other updates

So, most of you by now have realized that I am no longer on Twitch. I started off Tuesday – Sunday 8 hours a day, then that switched to 6 hours a day until ultimately I stopped streaming. It wasn’t something that came easy, I was conflicted over it for a while.

Until the first week went by.

And then the second, and third.

I was noticing significant changes in my life. For the 8 months I streamed, I never really realized how much it affected me. I was becoming impatient, moody, and constantly irritable.

I’m naturally quiet, having to talk and be entertaining for 6-8 hours a day 6 days a week was insane. I am certainly not built for this silly inane chatter that is apparently entertaining to people.

The only saving grace is the people that visit your channel. The ones that sit and chat with you every day and support you. It becomes a lovely comfort to the savage, undercutting behavior that is other streamers. I mean every word of that, and I will have the grace to not mention names of said individuals out of respect for their profession. Yes, even the nice ones. They are businessmen/women and you are a tool for them to use to inflate their own numbers.

This, also depressed me. Realizing the artificial nature of people’s seemingly ‘nice’ behavior.

The biggest issue for me was I felt that I was underutilizing my brain. Sitting there for hours on end, not learning anything or accomplishing anything and having people give me money for sitting there, talking to a computer screen.  Granted, there are people watching─ but not really. This depressed me further still. I was background noise to someone at work. This is how Twitch and live shows work. But, the fact that it’s background noise wasn’t a huge issue at the same time that it was. I realized I am broadcasting during someone’s workday, it’s to be expected.

Then there was the inevitable issue with me being female. (I know, I sighed openly too. I hate typing that sort of shit) It’s the same struggle that I have to deal with as a creator and writer. People would come into my channel and want to chat, but they didn’t ask me questions about the game, or game mechanics─ they asked me over-simplified questions about how I was enjoying it. Even when I went into detail about guns, elements, trap designs, game mechanics─ I wasn’t engaged until I was being a stupid person making dumb comments about random shit. Which again, in a nutshell, is what people want on Twitch. Average viewer age on my channel was somewhere between 12 – 23 until after 6 p.m. Again, normal but awful, and something I didn’t enjoy.

I’m a researcher, a writer, and a scientist. I don’t want to be viewed as some cam girl begging for money to play video games. Because, let’s be honest, that’s what 90% of the damn women do in that community.

I left for quite some time to get my head straight. This wasn’t what I wanted to do. I enjoyed writing, researching, creating shows and podcasts and audiobooks. I love games, but it’s a sacred time for me. A time to relax and really enjoy the game. Doing this every day was just leaving a bitter taste in my mouth to the entire thing. Then, there’s the overwhelming issue of everything you are expected to do as a streamer. It. was. ridiculous. and I constantly felt overwhelmed. I had so much to do each day before I streamed, constant things I had to read about the community, OBS, video editing, bots on bots on bots, use THIS music, no no use THAT music program, it’s better. Constant bickering and fighting in my channel, several unwanted comments, and private messages─ It was a mess.

And I will never, ever, go back to that again.

What I will go back to, is doing the things that make me excited and happy to be alive. No matter who or what is watching. I love to write, I love learning, and mostly─ I like doing it on my own time.

What you will see is my YouTube channel flourish with specials, new audio stories, books, short stories, and podcasts. I’m not gone, I’m just in a happier place.

(p.s. Vengeance is 3/5 completed, you’ll have the ending soon! Oh, and a collection of short stories available on Amazon soon. :3)

─ Grey ❤

 

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Twitch Creative Streams and Updates

Every month, I’d like to start adding a poll so that you guys can vote on what you would like to see for my Twitch creative. You can find my polls on my Twitter account. I’ll try to keep the poll open for a few days so people have time to get in their say!

My Twitch gaming schedule is every Sunday at 10:00 a.m. CST and I have my other days sprinkled through when I can. Sunday’s, however, are set in stone and you can catch me each week on this day!

Just to let you all know, you can find my previous year’s audiobooks right here on my website, or on Soundcloud or YouTube. Those will be starting back up this year, along with my occasional Podcasts between conventions. I’m excited to announce that I will be attending a few conventions this year, and will be posting a schedule soon!

If you are a fan of my books, you can follow me on Amazon to catch updates as I release them each year. My sci-fi book is due for release sometime this year, and my book 3 in the Hell’s Gate Series is TBD. (updates coming soon)

Every once in a while, I just like to make these reminder posts for people that may have an interest in checking out my work stuffesses. 🙂

Btw, you can vote now on Twitter for my next creative stream!

Next up, is my keto recipe for keto cornbread stuffing! Have a great day, guys!

 

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Comics are starting back up

For those of you that noticed, my comics have stopped for a while because I was dedicating my time to video editing my short film, Black, finishing the last edits on Hell’s Gate: Resurgence, and entering in NaNoWriMo. I also have been doing lives on Twitch and putting up audio stories and books on Youtube.

But the comics for me are a real way of expressing not only my daily joys and frustrations but a real form of release. I find it exciting to make other people laugh. Call it whatever you will, but I see so much crap online all the time that I find it my civic duty to make others laugh. If I don’t, I end up being this tightly wound ball of bitterness mixed with anxiety. I’ve decided that comics are a very real way for me to share with others. I generally enjoy making two types of comics: The Things My Boyfriend Does (or TTMBD) and life frustrations and silliness. Many, if not all of my comics are based on actual things that have happened to me or have been said to me. Don’t be fooled, because sometimes they are 100% random and plucked from my very demented mind.

Expect the Tuesday schedule to pick back up again. I won’t ever promise an exact time because of the chaos that is my life, but I will always generally have them up before 5. Thanks to everyone that has supported me!

I want to take a moment to also shout out to my Patrons:

  1. Brian and Amy Shader
  2. Seth Bailey
  3. Brent Smith
  4. Robert Vasquez

Without your help, I couldn’t make any of this a reality. Thank you so much! Check out this month’s rewards here.

If you would like to support me, but not become a Patron, you can also send it directly to me.

All of my donations go toward producing better content for all of you. Thanks guys~

If you would like to purchase my art, I will be placing it up in an online store soon! Sometimes, I also draw on Twitch as well and sell what I make. 😀

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Whew – An expression for this month

If you have checked out my YouTube, you’ll see I’ve been a busy lady. What is that? Is that music, Ms. Greyson? Why, yes. Yes, it is. I like to experiment and when I create my audio shorts, I tend to find most of my sound effects or use royalty free music. However, occasionally I enjoy making my own things along with the story I write. I love trying different things, and this was another way for me to experiment. The difficult side is finding musicians for vocals! But, worse case scenario, I just pay someone and send my stuff off to them to work their magic. I’m hoping that by accomplishing this, my creative demon is sated.

Currently, I’m working on my NaNoWriMo for 2017. You can follow me, add me as a friend, or get a sneak peek of the story and watch me struggle daily to try and catch up. My dumbass decided to wait too long to start, so I think I’ll probably be crossing the finish line and tripping over my own shoes and fall on my face. Best case scenario there.

So, if you were wondering why I was so quiet on social media, there’s your answer. I’ve taken a short break from Twitch, but I’ll pick it back up once a week again after hell month is over. My next creative twitch was voted on and everyone wanted a drawing vid, so I’ll hang out with all of you and do a little bit of fun painting!

Just a quick update to say I’m not dead yet.